The Men In My Family Has made me self-sufficient & confident


I am whole & complete all by myself. In fact, everybody is if you perceive yourself that way. But I do not want to be so because the men in my family spruced me up the way I am today and I’ll always love them for that.

I find them spontaneous, energetic, impartial, lucid & empathetic. They can be damn hysterical too sometime.

Take my Deuta (father), the first & only man that I trusted to treat me right & to love me all the same. I get my child like laugh from him, and of course I wish to have an honest heart like him. He is the gentlest man that I’ve ever met, but because of him I like to think that I am much tougher, more resilient and unafraid of unknown.

I grew up seeing him to remain calm & collected in trying situations, to be hopeful in uncertain times and to be ease with mistakes. I want to be able to let things roll over me, unfazed, like he is able to. I am still working on that.

I have seen him going extra steps to provide for us, and he provided us plenty and still doing it in his own way .I learnt how to love my child through thousand different, smaller ways, through gifts & gestures. I learnt to bond emotionally with my child like the way he caressed our forehead after his long hours at work.

He is leaving a trail of a great learning – to approach the last of life with eagerness, not gloom.

Ultimately, I learnt just to be there for family, no matter what like he does every time.

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I had (would prefer to say, have) a brother who left us too early to be with God. He cared tremendously about any person he came in contact with.

I wish I would be more prudent with clear insight & more graceful towards the world around me as my brother was and you know, I am working religiously on that.

I understood the value & importance of having a carefree healthy childhood…those memories of our sneak-peeks at mommy’s hidden cookies in the closet…those blessed campsite at our yard and in the middle of the living room…and those casual music concerts when he played guitar & I was singing many including Phoolon ka taron ka which in a significant way able to etch the value of togetherness indelibly upon my memory.

Now, my father-in-law a man of few words wears elegantly a tough appearance outside but a soft one inside. He chose to be rich by making his wants few.

I have learned it from him the independence of solitude as he often says – the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.

I understood the wondrous effect of incorporating self–discipline and self control at a young age. And I am doing it for his grandchild as well.

He redefined my view on Time – If you want to be on Time arrive before Time. And believe me, this is one of our home rule now.

Now, the father-son duo whom I live with almost every day now. They are the gang of boys in my little family.

Because of them, I have learned to be quick, but not sloppy. They taught me to be more practical in my approach rather than being an emotional fool.

My little one taught me countless things in myriads of ways of which I was unaware. Most importantly, I leant to let go things much easily and get absorbed in my own world. I learnt to find happiness in small things like the falling leaves, the fluttering curtains, and the delight of opening a new pack of soap and hand wash & its refreshing fragrance and many more.

Apart from those dumbest arguments, I must thank my spouse for introducing me to the world of Healthy Living – the healthy food habits, Yogasanas…and above all, making me understand the importance of being physically fit to remain supple and exuberant all the way.

I know it now to approach any work with lot of energy from within.

Because of the duo, I am not less than a living encyclopedia now and can spit it out as soon as someone brings up a topic – be it world politics, current affairs, International disputes, war- weapons, satellites, latest car & bikes and what not!

Now, I am more solution – centric than before and do not get stuck in problems and drama.

My family is my life essay; they are constant & reliable. They have garnished me in many ways to be stronger, wiser and more independent.

I can stand on my own and have done it many a times (many of us are doing it already, I appreciate that), even though I would prefer not to, all because of the ways they ornamented me to a newer level.



About the Author

Utpala Bora Phukan

I am an educator, Soft-Skill Trainer & a mother. read more...

12 Posts | 7,947 Views

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