Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
My ideas and mindset broke barriers the way I could never imagine they would, and I am very proud of the person they made me.
As one more year ends, and a new one starts, R and S retrospect on their lives and the part of it which stood out.
R says: We (or at least me) are ordinary people with ordinary lives. And if we die ordinary without any noticeable achievements, would any of our chapters be worthy enough to stand out?
And well, stand out to whom? To the World People? To Myself? To my kids?
I do not want to answer the question with questions.
Of course I can’t foretell the future, but the way life has been till now, I do not foresee myself spearheading changes which could make me famous. Nor have I, till date, the way I see it – made a huge difference in anyone’s life.
However, if I look back, there are things which have happened which at that point in time I could not have imagined would have. And the person I am right now, I would attribute to those events.
Hence to me, those are events. And for me, that chapter stands out.
Maybe it was those times or my family, but stepping out of the country for University was a big deal at home. Rules were – stay at home – pick a university which gets you back at home in the evening – once done with University try and get married.
A 16 year old me had different plans for myself.
I had a well defined career route in my head for which I had to go through a course which would not keep me at home. Amidst fights and tears and more fights, I left home.
And the challenge did not end there. Life without mummy was not a bed of roses. But I lived and loved it!
My ideas and mindset broke barriers the way I could never imagine they would. My life experiences then are confidential material, but I am very proud of the person they made me.
If I had stayed at home, my life course would have been very different and I might have been a very different person too.
Hence that decade of my life from 18 to 28… definitely a stand out chapter for me.
You S?
S says: When my kid plays video games, eventually her avatar dies and she gets to restart again. Some of the things seem boring to do over again, but at the crucial points if she changes her course of action, the course of her game changes drastically!
I wish life was like that – full of do-overs at crucial junctions. We’d know what mistakes we needed to fix or which routes were wrong for us.
If I got a chance for a do-over it would be picking my line of work. I just didn’t have the clarity or the maturity to know what I wanted to do in life or rather what I wanted from life per se.
Back then, unfortunately, being an engineer or a doctor seemed to be the only ‘good’ career choices – and my decision was based on what I didn’t want more than what I did.
But choosing a path based on fears or avoidances never does anyone any good. It is at best a ‘safe’ choice which has probably served its purpose.
I do wonder how my decision will affect how I advise my daughter though, when the time comes. Will I urge her to follow her dreams wherever they lead her? Or will I point her towards the familiar safe path I’ve walked on?
And what if the safe path is the right path after all?
The only do-over we get is when it comes to our kids. They are our avatars (or so we’d like to think). Like it or not, our badly written chapters affect our choices with the way we raise our kids. How we rewrite them is the question.
Image source: a still from the film Angry Indian Goddesses
We are an author duo who love writing together. We have written a couple of books together, Tete a tete with R&S and Anu and Isha. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address