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They say it’s bad to be selfish, or to care just for your dreams, ‘cos good women owe allegiance only to others’ ambitions and whims!
We often wonder what it is to be women,
to be good women, to be considered as such
Does one have to be innocent, coy,
and understanding or is it all a ploy?
They say to understand silently is to be a good woman,
They say support your beloved but for yourself, seek none
They say your love should be unconditional,
but as for theirs, conditions will apply
And that’s how it is, so don’t ask why.
They say it’s normal to be treated differently,
especially when cruelty is tendered so, so gently
They say it’s bad to be selfish, or to care just for your dreams
‘cos good women owe allegiance only to others’ ambitions and whims
Beguiled and disheartened,
We sigh and one last time, ask why!
Weariness of it all wears us down
So then we start to seek women with frown.
Women who have crinkled eyebrows
Women whose innocence have been robbed
Women who were once loving and gentle
but are now looking daggers at the world
as bereft of life, all they have left is their gold.
Then they realise the gold they’ve earned is theirs to keep
So they dust themselves off, smile bright and bury them deep.
Ridden from the vapid, they let themselves be
Cut away from the world and its silly expectation,
threw the flowers away from their hairs and set them free
They drank wine to merry and smile with glee.
After years of sleep, at last they feel widely woken
for they finally reclaimed the women who are called ‘broken’.
Published here first.
Image source: Still from Marriage Short Film WOMEN EMPOWERMENT, Content Ka Keeda via YouTube
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
You do not have to be perfect. There’s no perfect daughter, perfect employee, perfect wife, or perfect mother. These are just labels created by society, for their convenience.
So here you are, just out of engineering college, having no clue why you pursued Electronics Engineering. Yes, I know, like many others your age, you too were persuaded by your parents to opt for engineering because it supposedly gets you a lucrative job.
Believe me, however strange this might sound, you’ll soon come to realize that a high paying job need not always make you happy. And there are a myriad courses and career options out there, you should definitely consider something that’ll make you look forward to go to work every day.