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Not forgetting the tags of 'didi' and 'bhabhi' being of equal importance, but what about our relationship with our dreams and ambition?
Women, we care too much and we feel even more.
As a daughter, wife, and mother, there is a lot to digest as to how our roles overlap and how we are supposed to just flow and adjust into them, whether from siblings, relatives, or even our domestic workers. But what about our relationship with our dreams, more importantly, our ambition?
Why doesn’t the world talk more about our work? About the impact, we want to create on a larger scale, about the mark we want to leave with our creativity?
Under my work where I deal with a lot of SMEs who are eager to scale up their businesses, I meet a lot of men and very few women in the business who are equally absorbed with what they do, as they are with their family lives. Not that there is a lack of commitment, but women by default keep work at bay if anything comes up on the personal front.
How is it that we can make it easier for women to follow their dreams, and build on their ambition, as their families grow?
Having to do it every micro-mini second with parents being taken care of, husbands being well fed along with the kids of course, and their entire life trajectory planning. But when it comes to making decisions for ourselves or our business, we fall short many times.
A very recent interaction with a fitness coach who wanted a business proposal written and designed on an urgent basis of two days, got me thinking even harder about the decisions we choose to make or not.
She was happy with the pitch I made, and when it came to commercials, she backed out saying she would have to check with her husband.
Not meaning to be rude, but only because I deal with decision-makers in all companies only, which can be a competent manager too, I did ask her if this wasn’t her business.
She agreed it was, but refused to give a number that would be suitable for her to get this proposal for.
My quote was a standard one, but being an urgent requirement and me being able to fill up some weekend hours, I was happy to work out her range. If only she had known what it would be, and more importantly if only she had the balls to decide to get the work done.
Building habits are a result of doing things consistently over some time.
Unfinished business, succumbing to the storytelling of failures that you can’t get beyond, talking about starting or scaling a business but not making any headway, perfectionism, citing family as an excuse for not pursuing what you are good at, are these the symptoms of lethargy of the mind or something else?
It takes great courage and resilience, which we women are good at, but refuse to pack in that extra punch and break down at the first step if we can. How can we make ours?
Priorities are a habit. What is it that will make us see through this glass of how we were supposed to be versus how we can be?
This is just one of the many instances I encounter regularly and the mind is designed to not adjust to what is not natural, so it automatically questions. Questions on what can we do to make women hesitate less, commit more to themselves, and fulfil them?
There’s no doubt that a woman-led organization, or one with enough diversity, will always see more and better results in terms of the work that’s being done.
So, what is it that we can do to inspire women to work through their businesses, in a manner, that they desire and envision, not the society.
Would love to hear your thoughts and do share in case you need help in starting or scaling your business – we do that pro-bono for a lot of people.
Image source: A still from the web series Bombay Begums
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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