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The arranged marriage system that sends our daughters to homes of almost strangers means that they are always vulnerable to unknown dangers.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence and may be triggering for survivors.
A few years ago, I received a call from a close friend at 11 pm, asking if she could come over to spend the night. Naturally I said yes, especially since my instinct told me that she was possibly in an unsafe environment.
Her husband had thrown her out of their home unceremoniously that fateful night. She went on to stay for a week while figuring out her situation.
How many women in abusive relationships find themselves in a situation of imminent emotional or physical danger with nowhere to go, even if for a night? Too many. How many spaces/places are available for them in an emergency? Not enough.
I know of parents who proudly declare that if their daughter came home after a marital spat, they wouldn’t take her in. Imagine being alienated from your own family, being refused entry into your own house when you are at your most vulnerable.
We literally send our women into homes with people that we know nothing about. We send them to cities where there is no one except the marital family.
What happens if one night, an argument breaks out within the family, and the woman finds herself in a place of potential danger to her body, mind and heart? Almost every woman I know has found herself in a situation where she needed to run away, if even for a night, even if just to get her head sorted.
Does she have a safe house that she can go to? A place that is warm, non judgemental and accepting – where she knows she can rest her weary body and mind for a bit. Where she can recover from the overwhelming world and the demands on her. A safe house in her city, which she can reach as soon as she needs to.
Today, because of social media, women are finding their tribe, their emotional safe houses. Friends and allies they can lean on in times of distress because friends, many times are better allies than family – allies who have each others’ backs, who ask no questions and extend unconditional support and help.
I found a similar tribe online and I know without a doubt, that my life is easier because of it. Find yours.
Find a safehouse either online or in your city, and hope and pray that you never need to use it. But know also that it will be open to you whenever you need it.
Image source: youtube
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I am a banker, author, poet and an intersectional feminist. Speaking up on social issues, mentoring and coaching and cooking up a storm for friends and a certain strapping 21 year old boy are what read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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"I chose to go out into the remote, wild, unknown, and make it home," says entrepreneur Kiranjeet Ahluwalia Chaturvedi, who owns Birdsong & Beyond.
The story of my mountain home Birdsong & Beyond started taking shape in 2009, on the internet, the way many stories do these days.
My childhood fascination for a life in the Himalayas led to an internship with a central Himalayan NGO instead of a much prized corporate assignment. But when they offered me a full-time job, I refused. I was overcome by fear and a lack of confidence.
My other longings pulled me away – the longing to fit in, to earn validation from others. By my mid-30s, with all the trappings of a middle-class urban life in place, the call of the snows couldn’t be ignored anymore. So I got to work on it with clearer intentions and a stronger sense of what I needed for myself, and why.
Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
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