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This comeback post by a former Women's Web writer celebrates the strength and resilience of women while documenting her own journey.
It’s been a good five years since I wrote for Women’s Web. But somehow, even as the community has grown exponentially, like a childhood home that suddenly seems to have grown smaller when you go back to your home land, everything feels smaller, tighter, like a sweater that overstayed its welcome in the dryer.
My throat’s dry, like it always is before a speech onstage, my stomach’s in knots, my palms sweating profusely as I type word after word. Do you still remember me, Women’s Web?
I remember writing piece after piece every month, the letters on my typewriter fading out, my fingers numb, the only best friend I had back then, was you, reader. Do you remember me, like I do, you?
When I was still figuring out my way in life, I was writing about everything larger than life, love, tears, heartbreak, happiness, marriage and parenting-you cheered me on, you had my back. When I was a child who found solace in words, you told me I was not alone.
It’s been ages since I was that little girl now. Winning the Orange flower award for Creative Writing in 2018 was my final swan song before I admitted that I was officially out of songs to sing.
You see, I entered this platform as a child. I left when I was on the cusp of growing up“So what are you now?” You may ask.“I do not know,” would be my most honest answer.Am I older? Of course.Wiser? I wouldn’t bet on it. *laughs*Let’s just say, this is the writer after the breaking.
Life is strange. We float detesting air, to only sink. We sink to only realise all the air we filled our lungs with was all the life we took for granted. And then we talk about greener opposite shores whilst our own grass lies under our feet, wilting and unwatered.
A few days ago, I happened to read a piece I’d written when I was in the process of being broken, cell by cell. A reader called me “strong” for surviving storm after storm.
It broke my heart to know that women have to weather storms and eat so much pain for breakfast, lunch and dinner in order to be called strong.
It’s not fair, I told myself. None of this is. All the pain just so you can be called strong should you survive the crushing.
But I want to tell you, dear reader, that this is also the writer after the unbreaking. I’ve learnt the art of Kintsugi.
My broken pottery looks so much better when it has been fixed with gold. All the golden lines that run across my surface, they once were scars. And now, my scars are all testaments to the fact that I lived, I survived, I thrived.
So now that I can breathe again, dear reader, I think it is time to fly. My wings are just sprouting. After all the breaking and unbreaking, the world looks like it has been washed and cleaned, 4K vision if you will, for someone who’s been half-blind so long!
What do you think?What have you been doing whilst I was away?Was I missed as much as you’ve been telling me my words were?
Connect with me on Instagram, I’d love to hear from you. 🙂
Here’s to all the broken, unbroken, and ready-to-fly young women out there: I see your scars. They’re beautiful.
Image credit: IMDb, Screen grab of Alia Bhatt in Highway
Author. Filmmaker. Storyteller. Phd Scholar. Spoken Word Artist. Boxer. Reader. Podcast host of Konjam Kadhai Konjam Conversation. Nerd. Founder of The Coal Community. Was born with one feet in the clouds and one feet on read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Rajshri Deshpande, who played the fiery protagonist in Trial by Fire along with Abhay Deol speaks of her journey and her social work.
Rajshri Deshpande as the protagonist in ‘Trial by Fire’, the recent Netflix show has received raving reviews along with the show itself for its sensitive portrayal of the Uphaar Cinema Hall fire tragedy, 1997 and its aftermath.
The limited series is based on the book by the same name written by Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy, who lost both their children in the tragedy. We got an opportunity to interview Rajshri Deshpande who played Neelam Krishnamoorthy, the woman who has been relentlessly crusading in the court for holding the owners responsible for the sheer negligence.
Rajshri Deshpande is more than an actor. She is also a social warrior, the rare celebrity from the film industry who has also gone back to her roots to give to poverty struck farming villages in her native Marathwada, with her NGO Nabhangan Foundation. Of course a chance to speak with her one on one was a must!
“What is a woman’s job, Ramesh? Taking care of parents-in-law, husband, children, home and things at work—all at the same time? She isn’t God or a superhuman."
The arrays of workstations were occupied by people peering into their computer screens. The clicks of keyboard keys were punctuated by the occasional footsteps moving around to brainstorm or collaborate with colleagues in their cubicles. Most employees went about their tasks without looking at the person seated on either side of their workstation. Meenakshi was one of them.
The thirty-one-year-old marketing manager in a leading eCommerce company in India sat straight in her seat, her eyes on the screen, her fingers punching furiously into the keys. She was in a flow and wanted to finish the report while the thoughts and words were coming effortlessly into her mind.
Natu-Natu. The mellifluous ringtone interrupted her thoughts. She frowned at her mobile phone with half a mind to keep it ringing until she noticed the caller’s name on the screen, making her pick up the phone immediately.
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