Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
By praising mothers on one day for their varied roles, we think we're doing a fab job, but we're adding more burden subconsciously on mothers, to continue to be 'selfless' and 'boundless'.
“You can do this if you are a mother.”
“You can easily understand the child’s problem, you are a mother.”
“You must know why the baby’s stomach aches, as you are a mother.”
Mothers are considered the supreme human beings, and we all love our mothers. There are little things that make a mother superior, or if I may say the ‘best’ to create the world for a child. Mothers have a connection with a child that cannot be substituted.
But wait before you make the mother stand on a golden jewelled pedestal.
For many years, mothers have been given medals, badges, and crowns and also made to stand on a pedestal that has all the glory of the world. All the badges and medals are words of praise and hugs that the mother gets from the child, and the crown that the mother wears daily is the crown of pride by raising the child to face the world with self-belief.
But by dumping all this responsibility on to the mother, are we not tying up her wings tighter, or putting her on a pedestal, asking her to contribute more; in other words, sacrifice more?
Mothers do not wish to stand on a special stage and have a bag of guilt to carry. Mothers wish to kick off the so-called stage that is set for them.
When a woman steps into motherhood, she faces pressure from everyone, be it from family, relatives, colleagues, or society. All expect her to be perfect, quick, handy, a problem solver, selfless, a nature lover, a remarkable cook.
A mother is a human being too; let her have her breathing space, and let’s not treat her like a robot where every wish is fulfilled in a blink. She cannot always be an Annapoorna for everyone in the family and fulfil all their wishes for food. It can happen that the meal she prepared turned out to be less in quantity, or not ‘up to your standard’. Every person cannot master all skills, so there is nothing wrong with asking for help in the kitchen.
Mothers can be career-oriented too. Do not judge them for their choices and personal growth, or ask them about their life priorities bluntly, or pass sweeping statements.
Adding the baggage of having to manage both home and work can be so traumatic and overwhelming, that most women opt to drop their careers. Staying at home is not a demeaning task, but for a few, it can create a depressed state where they are unable to work on their career or passion.
Mothers have mental health issues too; we cannot expect mothers to keep smiling all day and solving all problems of kids and the household without a frown. In fact, contrary to popular belief, motherhood can be a source of great stress, so let’s not minimise it by giving out messages only of a smiling, beautiful picture of motherhood popularly peddled to them.
Mothers also get angry, and this should be recognised and accepted. Just like others, they will express their anger; it’s human to vent out.
The stress a mother goes through is a serious condition that needs to be addressed rather than conveying to them that it is a phase and that “soon everything will be okay.”
By praising mothers on one day for their varied roles, we think we’re doing a fab job, but we’re adding more burden subconsciously on mothers, to continue to be ‘selfless’ and ‘boundless’.
If a mother can like her child with all flaws, then the child can also love a mother who is a little self-oriented, a little irresponsible, who forgets at times, who fails at times, who has dreams, who has a career.
On this Mother’s day let us all give wings to mothers by taking off some of the burdens on our mother by appreciating the person she is, and by accepting that mothers are humans too.
Image source: a still from the short film Maa
Meenal & Sonal blogger duo wishes to spread the aura of positivity through their writing. They use very simple, pure and unique ways to explain various concepts of day to day activities which easily connect to read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
Please enter your email address