‘She Wasn’t Harassed, She’s Just An Attention Seeking Slut!’ & 24 More Things Men Say With Impunity!

Men around us say these things everyday, and get away with it. Most say it with actual intention to abuse and harass. That's just deliberately toxic behaviour.

Trigger Warning: This has mentions of rape, slut-shaming, and body-shaming, and may be triggering for survivors.

Men around us say these things everyday, and get away with it. When they say it with actual intention to abuse and harass, it hurts. It hurts a lot. That’s just deliberately toxic behaviour.

But there are enough men who think they’re ‘good men’, who also say things like there. Because this behaviour in men is so normalised, no one calls them out.

Well, I’m going to call out these 25 things I have heard cis het men say.

On looks

  • “Upper lips nahi karwaye? Apna razor du?” (Why didn’t you get your upper lips done? Do you need my razor?)
  • “Tu bhaloo lag rahi hai. Wazing ke paise nahi hai?” (You look like a bear. Don’t you have the money to get yourself waxed?)
  • “I can suggest some exercises that would help you reduce the fat on your arms.”
  • “Remove your specs, you look like a feminist.”
  • “Why are you wearing a saree like an aunty?”
  • “I wouldn’t have asked you out if you hadn’t straightened your hair.”
  • “I follow her for her breasts and ass. I don’t want to read posts about her political opinions.”

On stereotypes

  • “Who’s driving their car so slowly? I am sure it’s a woman.”
  • “Women will remain confused and stupid no matter what degree they hold.”
  • “Drilling some sense into a woman’s head is not mansplaining.”
  • “She is not marriage material, yaar.”
  • “Lesbians are so loud. If they’re having sex, they can do it in their room.”
  • “A lot of people think you’re a wh*re because you slept with him.”

On sexual abuse

  • “She wasn’t harassed, she is just an attention-seeking sl*t.”
  • “What she has felt is different from what I have done. From my side, I didn’t force myself upon her. But, she could have felt threatened, she could have felt forced.”
  • “Supporting the women who claim to have been harassed by me is like promoting misandry.”
  • “You’re being the victim of your own story by talking about your r*pe openly.”

On contraception

  • “Condom se ladkiyo ka kuchh nahi jaata lekin hum ladko ki to feel hi chali jaati hai.”
  • “Why can’t she blow me without a flavoured condom?”
  • “I was doing her a favour by using a condom. The least she could do was put it on my d*ck instead of expecting me to.”

On sex

  • “Oh, you’re a lesbian. Call me for a threesome next time.”
  • “Once I have an erection, my p*nis jumps out of my pants without warning.”
  • “She texted me after we hooked up. God! It was a one-time thing, why is she so obsessed with me?”
  • “I count the chicks, not the number of times I f*cked each chick.”
  • “I jerk off to your Instagram feed twice every day.”

Image source: a still from the film Pink

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About the Author

Upasana Dandona

A dysgraphic writer who spends most of their time watching (and thinking about) Bollywood films. read more...

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