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It takes me back to conversations I have with my mother where she is constantly buzzing about her busy day and how life of women is so tough.
Sitting in the salon getting my hair trimmed after 5 long months! Yes, the pandemic has made me cautious and I delay outside activities as much as I can.
So anyway, while sitting and getting some hair maintenance done I couldn’t help but notice the innumerable conversations buzzing around of women discussing how busy they are.
The theme reminded me of the general theme all around the world and more so in the pandemic era where one has to prove the level of busyness you can say.
It takes me back to conversations I have with my mother where she is constantly buzzing about her busy day and how the life of a woman is so tough. I often challenge her and say life is tough for both genders. Work is work, whether in-home or outside the home. None is less stressful in my eyes. I try to introduce her to the concept of self-help before others help and her generation will not listen to me so I let it be.
My conversations with people of my generation and a few years older- The hectic lives of mothers, of homemakers, of women who are high-ranking corporate officials, and also women like me who are trying to balance home and office.
I remember when I was living at home with parents, no care in the world for anything, all I had was my work pressure or academic pressure and I would crib to no end. Now looking back at those times I think back that what drove me to constantly prove that I am busy?
Nowadays I won’t lie, I don’t complain much and crib about how my hours are jam-packed, probably because I have also seen the flip side of it, like unemployment and long spaces between shifting cities post my wedding. So I have had my ideal share of gap times and I made the best of it. But I would be a little apprehensive to share what my day looked like with everyone.
I would often hear –
“You are so lucky, you are free, no job nothing!”
“You have no idea the effort that goes into looking after a home, you should feel good to not do it now!”
“You don’t know how stressful it is to be a mother, you should be glad you are childless!”
Needless to say, such amazing positive people are no longer on my list of people to talk to. To be honest these past two years I have observed so much, men and women both & the innate need to prove that I am so busy that the government won’t function without me.
Honestly speaking, now that my days are genuinely productive, I don’t shame anyone anymore or shame myself from having an easy day. I thoroughly enjoy my free time and I seek to strike a balance for my sanity. Because really, I will get nothing done and always be unhappy if I only strive for being BUSY.
There is an innate stigma all around that if you are free or relaxing you are a useless person. I hope everyone stops obsessing with this Superman and Wonder Woman mentality and just be human.
Enjoy your gap years and live a little. Try new things, maybe a language or volunteer somewhere, open your mind.
Enjoy your hectic days because many don’t have a job and many don’t have a home to call their own.
Enjoy your home and your domestic life because it’s an investment for life, the role you play as a daughter or a wife is more essential than your corporate title.
Enjoy your motherhood and don’t shame others, being a mother is a wonderful blessing, let it make you softer and not harsher towards others, many don’t choose to be without a child and many don’t want a child. None deserve judgment here.
Just live and come to a salon to chill and not announce how busy you are.
Image Source: Vardhan from Getty Images Signature, Canva Pro
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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