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New moms often have to tackle ample questions which invades their privacy. Here are some questions that shouldn't be asked!
Right after giving birth, everything changes for a woman. She has just delved into something completely new, something she has zero experience in. Her mind is undergoing a whirlwind of emotions. There is a tiny brand new person who is dependent on her for everything. She might not be too sure of what she is doing. It’s natural, of course! She is still trying to figure things out.
Sounds tough enough, right? Yet, why are some people hell-bent on invading their personal space when they are so vulnerable? They ask questions that should not be asked. Few of these queries are downright offensive and the rest simply don’t make any sense. Wondering what I am talking about?
Did you have a normal delivery or C-section?
Does it matter? Why don’t you first ask if the mom and the baby are well? As long as a woman is sure of what she ( and the gynaecologist) are doing, she can do whatever she wants to.
When are you planning for the next one?
When someone asks this question to me, what I say out loud is – “not thinking about it right now!” In my mind, I wish I had superman’s ability to shoot laser beams from my eyes.
Why are you still working?
The answer to this question is simple- because I want to! If someone feels the need to take a break after becoming a mother, they certainly have the right to do so. You don’t get to decide what works for me. So ‘Thank You, Next!
Does your husband help you out with the baby?
Of course, he does. Guess what? This is the 21st century where you and your partner are supposed to divide the responsibilities equally. That’s how modern marriages work. It’s not just a woman who has to do it all. Do you say I am lucky? Yes, I am lucky! But so is my husband, to have found me!
You are a mother now. Your needs are secondary.
Seriously? I highly doubt that. If I am not happy, it will directly impact the baby too. How am I supposed to raise a baby if I feel my needs don’t matter? So as a mom, I am as primary and important as the baby is!
Before you start disdaining my concerns with kuch to log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai kehna (People will say, it is their job to say things), here are a few cents from a new mother to all the ‘well-wishers’ out there-
Follow these aforementioned rules to the T while visiting a new mother and you are golden! She won’t talk smack about you, once you leave!
What do you say, new mommies?
Image Source: Still from Pexels
Gangotri is a versatile writer and editor with a Master's degree in Economics. Alongside her literary pursuits, she has also cultivated a love for cooking, experimenting with flavors and techniques in the kitchen. She read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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