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Here Are 5 Things You Should Not Say Or Ask A New Mother!

New moms often have to tackle ample questions which invades their privacy. Here are some questions that shouldn't be asked!

Right after giving birth, everything changes for a woman. She has just delved into something completely new, something she has zero experience in. Her mind is undergoing a whirlwind of emotions. There is a tiny brand new person who is dependent on her for everything. She might not be too sure of what she is doing. It’s natural, of course! She is still trying to figure things out.

Sounds tough enough, right? Yet, why are some people hell-bent on invading their personal space when they are so vulnerable? They ask questions that should not be asked. Few of these queries are downright offensive and the rest simply don’t make any sense. Wondering what I am talking about?

 

Here is a list of questions that new moms often have to encounter:

Did you have a normal delivery or C-section? 

Does it matter? Why don’t you first ask if the mom and the baby are well? As long as a woman is sure of what she ( and the gynaecologist) are doing, she can do whatever she wants to.

When are you planning for the next one?

When someone asks this question to me, what I say out loud is – “not thinking about it right now!” In my mind, I wish I had superman’s ability to shoot laser beams from my eyes.

Why are you still working? 

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The answer to this question is simple- because I want to! If someone feels the need to take a break after becoming a mother, they certainly have the right to do so. You don’t get to decide what works for me. So ‘Thank You, Next!

Does your husband help you out with the baby? 

Of course, he does. Guess what? This is the 21st century where you and your partner are supposed to divide the responsibilities equally. That’s how modern marriages work. It’s not just a woman who has to do it all. Do you say I am lucky? Yes, I am lucky! But so is my husband, to have found me!

You are a mother now. Your needs are secondary.

Seriously? I highly doubt that. If I am not happy, it will directly impact the baby too. How am I supposed to raise a baby if I feel my needs don’t matter? So as a mom, I am as primary and important as the baby is!

So…a few cents from a new mother to all the ‘well-wishers’ out there!

Before you start disdaining my concerns with kuch to log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai kehna (People will say, it is their job to say things), here are a few cents from a new mother to all the ‘well-wishers’ out there-

  • If you have a new mother in your close circle and you are planning to visit, ask her first. New-born sleep patterns are unpredictable. She might have been up for the past 24 hours with no or minimal rest.
  • Buying a gift for the baby? Pick up something for the new mommy too. It’s obvious that you want to celebrate the arrival of the little angel in this world. Celebrate the mother too because it is her who brought the little person into this world.
  • Last but not the least, DO NOT give unsolicited advice! DO NOT share your ‘pearls of wisdom’ until and unless you are specifically asked.

Follow these aforementioned rules to the T while visiting a new mother and you are golden! She won’t talk smack about you, once you leave!

What do you say, new mommies?

Image Source: Still from Pexels

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About the Author

Gangotri Kaushik

Extremely delightful when NOT angry, Like to ask a lot of questions, Believe in goodness of people (Well, Mostly) read more...

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