Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Clinical depression along with a straight marriage can make your life as a mother more difficult!
I am an aunt to two amazing nephews. I love them with all my heart and pamper them, which is why I am a cool aunt. While being the cool aunt isn’t easy, my sister and other mothers have shown me that mothering is infinitely harder.
Add to that a crippling mental illness like clinical depression, and you have a recipe for doom. I know because I have it for 17 years and counting. It has impacted not just my will to live (hello suicidal ideation), but also my entire personality ranging from my moods, my energy and patience levels and even my social skills. This is not on me! This is what depression does to a person.
And if you’re in a patriarchal straight marriage, there’s another problem you have to deal with even if you are living with a partner as it is ‘your’ job to raise kids. The mental load is not equal and it tilts in the man’s favour even without a child in the picture.
You’ll have to spend at least the next 18 years struggling to keep yourself afloat and your child safe and healthy, while your partner doesn’t even do the bare minimum. The pandemic has only made things worse for us women. So please, do your depressed self and your unborn child a favor and don’t be a mom.
If you are keen to become a mother, can put up with the mental load, and don’t have a partner then why not adopt instead of bearing your own child. Because while your biological kids are prone to inherit your mental illness, the chances are far slimmer when you adopt. Adoption is on the rise anyway, so why not consider that step?
After all, one can get depressed at any stage in life; and situational depression can be just as bad as clinical depression. At the end of the day, aren’t all parents—whether abled or disabled—only trying their best? Why then should mentally unwell people be denied the right to raise a child?
As long as they have healthy coping mechanisms and a support system in place, depressed folks can also do a reasonably good job at parenting. Or you know, don’t be a mom at all if you don’t want to. It’s totally your call.
Image source: Still from English Vinglish
Mahevash Shaikh is a millennial blogger, author, and poet who writes about mental health, culture, and society. She lives to question convention and redefine normal. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Dr Nalini Parthasarathi, 79, based in Puducherry has dedicated 30 years of her life caring for people suffering from hemophilia.
It is amazing when a person turns personal adversity into a calling, and extends empathy to make a significant impact in the lives of other people. This has been the life’s journey of Dr Nalini Parthasarathi.
April 17 is World Hemophilia Day. Dr Nalini Parthasarathi, 79, based in Puducherry has dedicated 30 years of her life caring for people suffering from hemophilia. She was honoured with the Padma Shri in 2023.
Hemophilia is a condition where one or more clotting factor is absent leading to bleeding. Severe cases can be life-threatening.
Please enter your email address