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It's always women who are entrusted with elaborate meal preparations & rituals. But we also want time off during festivals. Have mercy on us too, society!!
Twenty years into my marriage and I still detest going to my in-law’s house to celebrate any occasion.
It is not because I am against festivities. I just dread the monotonous & physically exhausting activities that women are continuously expected to do.
It is always the women who are entrusted with the elaborate procedure of preparing the sumptuous meals for those occasions. I was brought up in a family that did not have gender discrimination in engaging in culinary chores. So I found it bizarre how women were expected to slog in the kitchen while the men of the house got to enjoy the latest movies that were being telecast on the different channels.
We women tried to catch glimpses of these movies when we chanced to pass by the sitting room. Initially, I felt that if we finished the assigned chores, we would be able to join our spouses in the merriment. But, by the time we would complete our dreary tasks, it would be time to give our little ones the elaborate oil bath that was done on this day.
Hence, from one task to another, it was ensured that we kept on our toes. As siblings got married, although the number of helping hands increased, the workload also increased proportionately.
Those few days at their home started giving me nightmares from almost a month before our visit. Children loved the vacation as they found it a solace. Also kids enjoyed the house’s huge courtyard unlike the limited space in the apartment and its precincts. In short, these festivals just spelt copious amounts of arduous tasks which I hated.
I tried explaining my long litanies of woes to my husband. But he had been conditioned seeing his mom do the same with a content face, ever so ready to churn out new dishes at the slightest mention. In fact, he assumed that I disliked engaging in group activities.
But the truth was I wanted time off at least during the festivals and also thought it unfair that women were burdened so much.
I also realised that this ritual would be carried on as now my daughter and nieces are also expected to pitch in to help with these mundane tasks.
Can we not change the mindset of the next generation so that the workload is shared equally? Have mercy on us too, society!!
Image source: Thappad
Presently working as an English tutor, a dentist by profession, but a writer forever. Love penning down everything I strongly feel about and create a change in mindset, especially among the youth. read more...
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I watched a Tamil movie Kadaisi Vivasayi (The Last Farmer), recommended by my dad, on SonlyLiv, and many times over again since my first watch. If not for him, I’d have had no idea what I would have missed. What a piece of relevant and much needed art this movie is!
It is about an old farmer in a village (the only indigenous farmer left), who walks the path of trouble, quite unexpectedly, and tries to come out of it. I have tried my best to refrain from leaving spoilers, for I want the readers to certainly catch up on this masterpiece of director Manikandan (of Kakka Muttai fame).
The movie revolves around the farmer who goes about doing his everyday chores, sweeping his mud-house first thing in the morning, grazing the cows, etc and living a simple but contented life. He is happy doing his thing, until he invites trouble for himself out of the blue, primarily because he is illiterate and ignorant.