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It's always women who are entrusted with elaborate meal preparations & rituals. But we also want time off during festivals. Have mercy on us too, society!!
Twenty years into my marriage and I still detest going to my in-law’s house to celebrate any occasion.
It is not because I am against festivities. I just dread the monotonous & physically exhausting activities that women are continuously expected to do.
It is always the women who are entrusted with the elaborate procedure of preparing the sumptuous meals for those occasions. I was brought up in a family that did not have gender discrimination in engaging in culinary chores. So I found it bizarre how women were expected to slog in the kitchen while the men of the house got to enjoy the latest movies that were being telecast on the different channels.
We women tried to catch glimpses of these movies when we chanced to pass by the sitting room. Initially, I felt that if we finished the assigned chores, we would be able to join our spouses in the merriment. But, by the time we would complete our dreary tasks, it would be time to give our little ones the elaborate oil bath that was done on this day.
Hence, from one task to another, it was ensured that we kept on our toes. As siblings got married, although the number of helping hands increased, the workload also increased proportionately.
Those few days at their home started giving me nightmares from almost a month before our visit. Children loved the vacation as they found it a solace. Also kids enjoyed the house’s huge courtyard unlike the limited space in the apartment and its precincts. In short, these festivals just spelt copious amounts of arduous tasks which I hated.
I tried explaining my long litanies of woes to my husband. But he had been conditioned seeing his mom do the same with a content face, ever so ready to churn out new dishes at the slightest mention. In fact, he assumed that I disliked engaging in group activities.
But the truth was I wanted time off at least during the festivals and also thought it unfair that women were burdened so much.
I also realised that this ritual would be carried on as now my daughter and nieces are also expected to pitch in to help with these mundane tasks.
Can we not change the mindset of the next generation so that the workload is shared equally? Have mercy on us too, society!!
Image source: Thappad
Presently working as an English tutor, a dentist by profession, but a writer forever. Love penning down everything I strongly feel about and create a change in mindset, especially among the youth. read more...
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"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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