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For a nation that craves for a family name-bearing son, puts its male progeny on a pedestal, its medal hopes in the greatest sporting spectacle are pinned on its gritty daughters!
Mirabai Chanu was the silver medalist in weightlifting at Tokyo Olympics. PV Sindhu got us a bronze, and Boxer Lovlina Borgohain is guaranteed a bronze medal at least.
These women have been the only medal winners (so far that is) from a country of more than a billion people.
Salute to the ‘Naari Shakti’! So exults a breathless newscaster.
Is it really? Give this accomplishment any jazzy label but do think for a second.
Those very daughters who have been second class citizens across homes for decades.
The same girls who had (still don’t) no agency on their bodies, their dreams or their monies.
They are told what to wear, what to eat and how much, when to procreate and who to produce, when and what to talk, what to show, what to hide, who to marry.
They are raised to adjust, to settle. Often for less!
After all, PutraKameshti Yagna or the sacred oblations to produce that cherished son is as old as the Ramayana isn’t it?
According to the Hindu rituals, a son who does the funeral rites or the Karma Kanda of his parents saves them from Punnama Narakam. Having a son is a parent’s guarantee card, a sure-shot deliverance from hell.
A son carries forward the lineage.
But when daughters are lighting the funeral pyres and sporting their maiden name after marriage too, they are stepping up and stepping in, aren’t they? The reason for pining for a boy is getting hazier with each day.
Most in their old age like to be with their children. Some will have the wherewithal to afford assisted living, many wouldn’t.
A daughter, as a caregiver is no less than a son. (That is assuming, she is given permission by her new family)
It isn’t just a Hindu fetish or an Indian phenomenon to crave a son. Across nations and across cultures, a male is still alpha. For all its Global-Big-Daddy hangups, the U.S. hasn’t still elected its first female president.
I for one have tried to have a gender agnostic family.
To that endeavour, constant conversations between generations is a must.
’“What is your game plan once your daughter finishes college? Allow her to work or perform her marriage?” My father often asks me.
“It all depends entirely on her, what she wants. Though I would like her to be self-sufficient, earn her monies, explore the world and enjoy life without any baggage.”
“Yes, not marriage, please. That is your mother’s wish too. She keeps telling me they didn’t let her work and got her married immediately after her graduation.” My father adds wistfully.
I smile because I’m filled with joy at this mindset, where everyone hopes my girl will lead her life the way she deems it fit and don’t lump their dreams or burden of their expectations on her.
BTW she has just finished schooling. We are big on planning that way.
My grandfather, typical of those times, kept trying for a male child and produced four girls along the way. The girls were ‘given away’ the moment they reached the age of 21. Their dreams were redundant. They were his burden to unload on his sons-in-law.
An entire generation of immense potential was lost due to societal conditioning.
Can we still let the girl slump on the grave of her dreams?
Time to set her free, leave her be, and let her soar.
Maya Angelou’s caged bird sings in great consternation because her wings are clipped and her feet are chained. She craves her freedom.
Open the gilded cage and let the songbird claim the sky as her own.
Imagine, even with so much of boxing them in, the girls are still weaving such magic.
Just imagine the records that would be rewritten if the fairer sex is unfettered and raised as a go-getter, a believer in chasing dreams.
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Anupama Jain is the author of
* ‘When Padma Bani Paula', listed as 'One of the 5 best books of 2018 - Fiction', by readwriteinspire.com. It is a breezy novel about second chances of life and read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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People have relationships without marriages. People cheat. People break up all the time. Just because two people followed some rituals does not make them more adept at tolerating each other for life.
Why is that our society defines a woman’s success by her marital status? Is it an achievement to get married or remain married? Is it anybody’s business? Are people’s lives so hollow that they need someone’s broken marriage to feel good about themselves?
A couple of months ago, I came across an article titled, “Shweta Tiwari married for the third time.” When I read through it, the article went on to clarify that the picture making news was one her one of her shows, in which she is all set to marry her co-star. She is not getting married in real life.
Fair enough. But why did the publication use such a clickbait title that was so misleading? I guess the thought of a woman marrying thrice made an exciting news for them and their potential readers who might click through.
Did the creators of Masaba Masaba just wake up one morning, go to the sets and decide to create something absolutely random without putting any thought into it?
Anyone who knows about Neena Gupta’s backstory would say that she is a boss lady, a badass woman, and the very definition of a feminist. I would agree with them all.
However, after all these decades of her working in the Indian film industry, is her boldness and bravery the only things worth appreciating?
The second season of Masaba Masaba (2020-2022) made me feel as if both Neena Gupta and her daughter Masaba have gotten typecast when it comes to the roles they play on screen. What’s more is that the directors who cast them have stopped putting in any effort to challenge the actors, or to make them deliver their dialogues differently.