An elegy for choice, an illusion we offer our girls, and as an extension, our women. Because how dare they think for themselves, right?!
“beta! have you decided on what stream you will be taking?” father chides, well-meaning and jovial as ever.
“arrey, arrey! what nonsense-schmonsense this is!” mother says, chiming in. “let girl take what she want!” she proclaims, defiantly staring my father down.
he matches it with his signature grin, and begins his long monologue, god knows how long he’d prepared it for. “beta…you see! the world is heading in a good way! in a science way! its important to take what you want, whatever you like. see…you must have interest! like bank loan!
you must do what you want, yes, yes! whatever you’re wanting! anything! …as long as it’s science!”
i wonder is anything truly my choice?
you can choose to follow your dreams as long as it makes you money
you can choose to work as long as your husband allows it
you can choose to wear what you want as long as it isn’t too revealing
you can choose to use a pad or a menstrual cup as long as you don’t talk about it
you can choose to be anything you want to be as long as it’s straight, cis
you can choose to worship any god as long as its your parent’s as well
you can choose to dream as long as you know
that’s all it is…
what is choice? is it mine? is it yours? is it a collective?
no choice is an illusion
choice is taking the longer road to the exact same place just to prove you’re right
choice is choosing between two left feet to dance
choice is including someone as long as you’re not left out
choice is when even no means yes and a flower is bruised
choice is to find your own voice in a sea of others’ echoes
choice is the lies we’re fed
choice is nothing at all
Image source: a still from the film Mohabbatein
I am Janani Balaji. A grade 10 student, 15 years old and passionate about writing stories, art and poetry. I feel strongly about gender equality, body issues and mental wellness. read more...
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