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An elegy for choice, an illusion we offer our girls, and as an extension, our women. Because how dare they think for themselves, right?!
“beta! have you decided on what stream you will be taking?” father chides, well-meaning and jovial as ever.
“arrey, arrey! what nonsense-schmonsense this is!” mother says, chiming in. “let girl take what she want!” she proclaims, defiantly staring my father down.
he matches it with his signature grin, and begins his long monologue, god knows how long he’d prepared it for. “beta…you see! the world is heading in a good way! in a science way! its important to take what you want, whatever you like. see…you must have interest! like bank loan!
you must do what you want, yes, yes! whatever you’re wanting! anything! …as long as it’s science!”
i wonder is anything truly my choice?
you can choose to follow your dreams as long as it makes you money
you can choose to work as long as your husband allows it
you can choose to wear what you want as long as it isn’t too revealing
you can choose to use a pad or a menstrual cup as long as you don’t talk about it
you can choose to be anything you want to be as long as it’s straight, cis
you can choose to worship any god as long as its your parent’s as well
you can choose to dream as long as you know
that’s all it is…
what is choice? is it mine? is it yours? is it a collective?
no choice is an illusion
choice is taking the longer road to the exact same place just to prove you’re right
choice is choosing between two left feet to dance
choice is including someone as long as you’re not left out
choice is when even no means yes and a flower is bruised
choice is to find your own voice in a sea of others’ echoes
choice is the lies we’re fed
choice is nothing at all
Image source: a still from the film Mohabbatein
I am Janani Balaji. A grade 10 student, 15 years old and passionate about writing stories, art and poetry. I feel strongly about gender equality, body issues and mental wellness. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Dear Women’s Web Community Member,
You may have wondered at our being on the quieter side during the last couple of months. Thank you for your patience, and we wanted to come back to you with a detailed note on what’s been happening at our end of things.
When we first began Women’s Web, as a blog from one woman’s desk along with a few like-minded souls, little could we have imagined the heights that it would soar to. Over the years, Women’s Web has published over 20000 stories (almost all by women), empowered countless women with the ideas, community and resources to chase their dreams, employed hundreds of women in core and project-based roles, and in the process, emerged as the OG women’s community in India. It has also inspired many others to build communities of a similar nature, all enabling women (and other-underrepresented groups) in their own ways.
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