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Neena Gupta’s story of her wedding being called off as a young woman speaks of her strength in moving on from whatever happens.
Veteran actor Neena Gupta launched her autobiography Sach Kahun Toh recently in a virtual event with Kareena Kapoor.
During the delightful 30-minute conversation, Neena talked about several experiences which are featured in the book and defined her approach to life. She admitted being envious when seeing other people leading normal lives and opened up about the loneliness in her prime years.
Neena talked about the experience of her wedding being called off at the last minute. While shopping for the wedding, she received a phone call from her fiance who just said “I don’t want to marry you” without any explanation. She spoke about her wish to marry him, respect she had for his parents, and how shocking it was when all those dreams came crashing down unexpectedly.
It is a traumatic experience when the love you desired does not end in the marriage you wanted. “Whatever God gave me or wherever I went wrong accepted it and moved forward” says Neena. She clearly knew how to take things in stride and keep marching ahead and has built her life and career beautifully while raising her daughter as a single parent.
When a wedding is called off, the one person who is most affected is the bride.
I remembered the disturbing scene from Queen, when Kangana’s character shuts herself in a room surrounded by gifts, sweet boxes and wedding decor crying her heart out. But unlike the movie where the immediate family is in a state of shock and leaning on each other for support- not all families are kind to the bride.
The cruel inauspicious labeling, the barrage of comments from relatives and questions about future prospects of marriage start almost immediately- every card is stacked against the woman. Especially in the case of a love marriage gone wrong, the bride is more often blamed for her wrong choice and putting the family’s honour at stake.
But in reality, a wedding being called off is not a calamity of your life – especially when some relationships are just not worth getting into. Recently a 22-year old bride in Uttar Pradesh called off her wedding when the groom arrived drunk and forced her to dance before the jaimala ceremony. I appreciate the woman standing up for herself and voicing her opinion from the beginning of the relationship. Also the family supporting her sound decision is encouraging, which is what every woman needs instead of the blame game and victimization.
A called-off wedding is probably a small hurdle in a long race of life and needs to be considered that way. Such instances should be treated with utmost compassion in providing the necessary emotional support to the bride to let go and move on. Neena Gupta sets an example in facing life’s challenges and moving ahead without making a compromise.
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Electrical engineer turned into Marketer. From heartland of Tamilnadu but almost Mumbaikaar.
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