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Would not being visibly Muslim keep a woman, a family safe if there is hate, or would it be enough just to be marked out by the colour of their skin?
On the 6th of June, a 20 year old ‘visibly white’ person drove a truck over a Canadian-Muslim family in London, Ontario, killing the husband and wife, their 15 year old and the husband’s mother. Leaving behind their 9 year old with serious injuries.
Canada did not skip a beat to declare this as a pre-meditated hate crime attack; calling it an act of terrorism, and I am proud of this country for that.
This incident definitely drew a lot of conversations and debates with family and friends around me, on social media and in person; leaving me wondering – on which side of the coin was I…?
I’m an Indian Muslim, but not visibly so. I do not wear a hijab. I don shorts in summers. And that is completely out of choice.
This incident set me wondering, that if I ever chose to adopt the hijab, would I be brave enough to do so? With my hand on my heart, I would not be. I would want to keep my family safe and I do not want to die, at least not like this.
Is that my side of the coin then? Do I not stand by folks who choose their faith over safety?
The Muslim hijab or the Sikh turban or the Jewish kippah (skull-cap) are a lot more than just visible symbols of faith. The identity of the individual is rooted there; so are their beliefs. Giving it up would be giving up a significant part of them; giving up their identity.
If that hijab clad Muslim woman was not safe, how safe would I be if I have the dupatta covering my head to protect me from the sun? The dupatta which I had to take probably as a futile attempt to avert the infamous male gaze?
How safe is that cancer survivor who chooses to cover her bare head?
Would that family be safe, if the women in the family did not have their heads covered? Maybe or maybe not. Because they would not be able to scrap off the brown of their skin, even if they wanted to.
From subtle offensive comments to a heinous hate crime, done in the name of differences, be it gender, religion, race, skin colour etc., need to be condemned and punished.
I don’t need to look like someone or hold the same beliefs, to recognize injustice and voice my disapproval of it, even if it is just that, that I can do. The side of the coin which I would be on is the one which does not accept intolerance towards differences, at any cost.
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Before expecting the daughter in law to love, respect and accept the new family, it is only fair that the family demonstrates all of these first.
If you are a married Indian woman, one of the first words you hear from your in laws is that you are now a daughter of the house. How true is that statement though? Are daughters in law really treated as daughters or is this only lip service?
A friend recently confided how hurt she felt when she wanted to visit her in-laws along with her husband but was told not to, because the in-laws wanted time alone with their son. Naturally, she was taken aback since she had always been fed this trope – that she was the daughter, not the daughter in law. Why then this sudden keeping at arm’s distance? Would a son in law ever be told not to accompany his wife on her visit to her parents because they wanted quality time with their daughter? That is unimaginable in a patriarchal society.
It is ok to want time alone with the married offspring but how does that meld into the Indian family system, where independent choices are less important than the whole family coming together?
My husband returns home tired after working & travelling. I, like other working women, return home refreshed after enjoying full day at office!
I am a working woman and mother of a 2 year old daughter. People say I am irresponsible and lazy because I have a house-help.
Yes, I’m irresponsible and don’t have any work. Except checking what groceries needs to be refilled and ordering them for home delivery, washing my and my husband’s clothes, drying and folding them, getting the work-wear clothes ironed, keeping clothes in place, cleaning bathrooms and toilets, changing bedsheets, dusting windows occasionally, hand washing my daughter’s soiled clothes in hot water, bathing my daughter twice, feeding my daughter breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Rest other work like cooking and house cleaning done by the house-help and my husband takes care of getting fruits and vegetables from the market every week. So I don’t have any work except those few mentioned earlier.
Call it a veil, a ‘ghunghat’ or the hijab, a harmless piece of cloth which a woman should be able to use or not use by choice, without affecting anyone, apparently evokes a lot of tension it should rather not.
On a lazy Sunday morning, incidentally, I came across two news items, one of brave women in a village in northern Haryana taking a pledge to not cover their face with the ghunghat or veil and other of some Muslim women not allowed inside a French restaurant because of the hijab.
The cause of the women in Haryana – a seemingly easy cause to achieve also invokes the wrath of certain people around them. When some men of the village have come out saying that the purdah or ghunghat is a mark of modesty and ahem…respect to men, one realizes why a mere face cover is so difficult to give up. The teacher who started the campaign rightfully argues to ask the men to go about their daily tasks with their face covered just for a day!
Being a hijab-wearing, feminist Muslim woman at a corporate workplace is difficult and comes with its own share of issues and discriminations. The author explores.
“Well, the only issue here is that you wear that cloth around your head. If you consider removing it, maybe you’ll get this job,” said the interviewer after various rounds of interview since the morning.
Before I joined my current workplace, I attended many interviews. As a fresher, I was prepared to be completely flexible about the work culture and very enthusiastic to join the corporate. I am an engineer but I wanted to be a writer; so I started looking for jobs that gave me an opportunity to improve my English and writing skills.