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Would not being visibly Muslim keep a woman, a family safe if there is hate, or would it be enough just to be marked out by the colour of their skin?
On the 6th of June, a 20 year old ‘visibly white’ person drove a truck over a Canadian-Muslim family in London, Ontario, killing the husband and wife, their 15 year old and the husband’s mother. Leaving behind their 9 year old with serious injuries.
Canada did not skip a beat to declare this as a pre-meditated hate crime attack; calling it an act of terrorism, and I am proud of this country for that.
This incident definitely drew a lot of conversations and debates with family and friends around me, on social media and in person; leaving me wondering – on which side of the coin was I…?
I’m an Indian Muslim, but not visibly so. I do not wear a hijab. I don shorts in summers. And that is completely out of choice.
This incident set me wondering, that if I ever chose to adopt the hijab, would I be brave enough to do so? With my hand on my heart, I would not be. I would want to keep my family safe and I do not want to die, at least not like this.
Is that my side of the coin then? Do I not stand by folks who choose their faith over safety?
The Muslim hijab or the Sikh turban or the Jewish kippah (skull-cap) are a lot more than just visible symbols of faith. The identity of the individual is rooted there; so are their beliefs. Giving it up would be giving up a significant part of them; giving up their identity.
If that hijab clad Muslim woman was not safe, how safe would I be if I have the dupatta covering my head to protect me from the sun? The dupatta which I had to take probably as a futile attempt to avert the infamous male gaze?
How safe is that cancer survivor who chooses to cover her bare head?
Would that family be safe, if the women in the family did not have their heads covered? Maybe or maybe not. Because they would not be able to scrap off the brown of their skin, even if they wanted to.
From subtle offensive comments to a heinous hate crime, done in the name of differences, be it gender, religion, race, skin colour etc., need to be condemned and punished.
I don’t need to look like someone or hold the same beliefs, to recognize injustice and voice my disapproval of it, even if it is just that, that I can do. The side of the coin which I would be on is the one which does not accept intolerance towards differences, at any cost.
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Relatives kissing children's penises made me wonder how this is leaving boys vulnerable to potential abuse under the garb of affection.
As we witness in all Indian family gatherings – whether a wedding, a birthday, or a summer vacation – nostalgia soaks us all.
However, one such gathering exposed me to a horrific practice that, though common in many houses worldwide, is very problematic.
It all started with my horror at hearing one of the supposedly funny anecdotes about my cousin’s birth.
Many men suffer from an inferiority complex when their women are earning. They feel their wives will rise higher in the professional worlds.
I hear many women tell me about how they are privileged that their husbands do not want them to work.
One claims that her husband wants her to have a luxurious life and just relax and rest. Another feels her husband just wants her to stay at home and enjoy cooking. Some feel that their husbands just want them to look after the children. Some other women look at these women and feel that they are so lucky and fortunate to have such loving and caring husbands.
My question to these luxurious women is that then why did you educate yourselves? Why did you painstakingly study? Is your purpose in life to only be dependent on your husbands for money? Do you not have any skills that can be utilized? What about teaching and showing others what you have learnt.