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Starting early, teach your child that they never have to feel bad about disliking any adult or being uncomfortable around them.
Recently, during a casual mom and daughter chat, the two of us were just taking stock of the ‘trusted adults’ in our circle.
The dot pipes in, “Amma, I really like XYZ aunty but don’t really feel fully comfortable with Uncle XYZ”.
I say okay and wait…
“…Amma, it’s not that he has ever given me cause feel uncomfortable…it is just that I somehow don’t feel fully okay…”
She paused. I could sense the slight glimmer of ‘self-doubt’ in her own judgement. But I wait. It comes.
“Amma, am I wrong? Is it okay if I don’t feel comfortable about someone who has not given me any reason to feel so…”
“Listen child…it is perfectly okay. Remember, you never, ever have to explain yourself for not feeling comfortable about someone or something. Trust your instinct and stay away. You have every right to say, ‘I do not like this’ and move away…always. Never allow anyone to compel you into validating why you feel something or someone is not right. Not now, not ever. And, that someone can be anyone, be it your close kin, a teacher, your parent’s trusted ally…whosoever.”
Now, look at ‘this’ conversation in the light of the ongoing Chennai Schools abuse issue. Social media is now replete with a new wave of #metoo incidents. What breaks the soul, even more, is the fact that this time the victims are all children. One story hit me really hard… a survivor who recounted her harrowing experience. What affected her more than the incident itself was the fact that her parents did not stand up for her!
Start young. Look your children in the eye and tell them you are there for them, no matter what! Talk to your kids. Yes, both girls and boys. Teach them it’s okay to say ‘No’ without guilt.
Image credits Photo by Mumtahina Tanni from Pexels
I write about Life, as I see it... It is my lifeline to sanity. A psychiatric social worker by training, an erst while journalist by chance, technical writer by plan and now, a home maker read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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