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Dear MIL, Why Must You Constantly Insult & Degrade My Parents?

Posted: March 19, 2021

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After my marriage, my MIL would constantly insult my parents and I could never answer back to her. Why must my parents be ill-treated all the time?

Before I got married, my mother taught me all the dos and don’ts of married life. She told me that a woman is a symbol of beauty, love and peace. And that we can’t expect a happy home without a woman.

I am an educated woman married to an educated family. My MIL is also a very educated woman. After my marriage, I accepted my new home as my own. I considered myself a part of the new family.

Despite all this, my MIL would often say wrong and insulting things about my parents all the time and each time, I refused to reply to her. I never responded to any of her comments.

I couldn’t stop wondering why she insulted them

After a few years of marriage, I gave birth to a baby boy. Though my MIL loved my son, her taunts about my family never stopped. I love every member of my family and I know that my MIL likes me too. And often, I could try and ignore all the insulting things my MIL spoke about my parents.

Things were going well, we were sharing all our joys and sorrows now. In fact, I had even learnt to ignore my MIL’s remarks and insults about my parents.

However, as a technical person, there were questions arising in my mind ‘why did I tolerate this behaviour of hers?’ ‘And why do only girls face such things?’

Before every festival, my mother made it a point to ask me the brand preferences and the sizes of my new family so she could send gifts. However, my MIL always rejected all those gifts, even when they were precisely what she had wanted.

And one day, she crossed all the limits

A few years passed and my husband, our baby and I moved to Delhi. I had even begun working there. In the meantime, my brother’s wedding was finalised and my parents, obviously, wanted to invite my in-laws.

So my dad got a box of sweets and an invitation card and went to their house. When he reached there, he found the door of the house locked. He called and asked me about my in-laws. Then, he told me how he had called my MIL in the morning to inform her about going there. However, no one was home, other than the driver.

So I decided to call my MIL to ask her about this. She said she had gone to the market and will be home soon and to ask my father to wait. I was worried about my dad waiting outside in the house in the cold of the winter. And even two hours after my call, my MIL still hadn’t returned home.

I realised my mistake that day

Since my father had a train reservation to go back, I asked him to leave the sweets and the invitation with the driver and leave. He said, he would rather wait till my MIL returned.

That was the day I realised what a big mistake I’d made. I thought everything was okay while she insulted me and said things only to me. But I was wrong. Maybe I should’ve spoken up when she insulted my parents in front of me.

So I took a decision and called my MIL up and asked her, ‘Why must only my parents be insulted? And why must they be ill-treated so often by you?’ I told her that if she didn’t reach home within a few minutes, I would make a life-changing decision.

Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Pandya Store

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Rashmi Bajpai is a mother of two lovely kids. She has worked as a software

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