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Societal reputation is one of the factors that give the abusers more control and the abused partners more reasons to be silent.
Abuse: It had always existed but was never recognised. The word is finally getting acceptance in our society.
Movements like #metoo and the efforts of brave women who have come forward have finally brought sexual abuse to its fore front.
Yet Martial rape not being a punishable offense in countries like India, is one of the biggest slap on our faces even with media and information being against sexual abuse.
Now if the battle for sexual abuse was a battle to fight imagine the uphill task when we talk about emotional abuse. There is so much “hush-hush” about emotional abuse. Most people of our society do not even understand it , let alone talk about it .
Violence is not just physical. Harsh words are violence as well. Its not just women, but men too are being emotionally abused. So much of what happens in between a married couple is swept under the rug of ‘adjustments’ and ‘it happens’. Emotional abuse is already considered a norm and calling it abuse only makes you an outcast.
Abusers do not have special faces, God fearing loving sons , awesome fathers , the polite woman can all be abusers in a certain relationship and that also without realizing. Some abusers are a part of the conditioning as much as the ones they abuse , none of the two have the courage to stand against the norm. Abusers have made themselves believe that they are the victims of their circumstances.
Constantly saying words that make the other person loose confidence in themselves, no consideration of the other person’s acceptance when it comes to sex. Making someone feel worthless. There is a very thin line between making fun and constantly mocking a person. This is the boundary of emotional abuse. Constantly ridiculing a person can result in loss of confidence and self worth for oneself.
“The bold aren’t always actually bold and the ones that seem meek aren’t always so weak”
I hope someday people realise that so many behavioural patterns that we accept as norms or normal behaviour are actually a type of emotional abuse, enacted to assert control. To call abuse .. “abuse “ – is not over thinking , or being overly emotional , its being rational and vigilant about what is going on and nobody should be ashamed of it.
The do’s and don’t in a relationship, that are subtly or aggressively defined by only one of the partners in order to assert control over other and have them isolated from other social groups is a prevalent behavioral norm.
Look around yourself and take a moment to observe and absorb. Stop for a moment, think and enact accordingly.
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Just because they are married a husband isn’t entitled to be violent to his wife. Just because a man is "in love" with a woman, it doesn't give him a right to be violent.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of graphic details of violence against women and may be triggering for survivors.
Anger is a basic human emotion, just like happiness or being sad. One chooses his/her way of expressing that emotion. It is safe until that action stays within oneself.
What happens when that feeling is forced upon another? The former becomes the perpetrator, and the latter turns out to be the victim.
Rrashima Swaarup Verma's new bestselling book The Royal Scandal is a celebration of the spirit of womanhood set in the 18th Century.
Rrashima Swaarup Verma’s new bestselling book The Royal Scandal is a celebration of the spirit of womanhood.
A true love story. A tale of politics, treachery and war. A piece from India’s rich history. A vivid description of 18th century life in the Deccan. Yes, The Royal Scandal is all that and more. But it is also an aide-mémoire of the tremendous fortitude, the unbeatable spirit that women are, and have always been, capable of.
18th century, Hyderabad, India. A time and place when societal laws and rules came down heavy on the female gender, when zenanas separated and shielded the women from the world outside, when it was understood and accepted that the men in their lives would govern and dictate every big and small decision.
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