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Societal reputation is one of the factors that give the abusers more control and the abused partners more reasons to be silent.
Abuse: It had always existed but was never recognised. The word is finally getting acceptance in our society.
Movements like #metoo and the efforts of brave women who have come forward have finally brought sexual abuse to its fore front.
Yet Martial rape not being a punishable offense in countries like India, is one of the biggest slap on our faces even with media and information being against sexual abuse.
Now if the battle for sexual abuse was a battle to fight imagine the uphill task when we talk about emotional abuse. There is so much “hush-hush” about emotional abuse. Most people of our society do not even understand it , let alone talk about it .
Violence is not just physical. Harsh words are violence as well. Its not just women, but men too are being emotionally abused. So much of what happens in between a married couple is swept under the rug of ‘adjustments’ and ‘it happens’. Emotional abuse is already considered a norm and calling it abuse only makes you an outcast.
Abusers do not have special faces, God fearing loving sons , awesome fathers , the polite woman can all be abusers in a certain relationship and that also without realizing. Some abusers are a part of the conditioning as much as the ones they abuse , none of the two have the courage to stand against the norm. Abusers have made themselves believe that they are the victims of their circumstances.
Constantly saying words that make the other person loose confidence in themselves, no consideration of the other person’s acceptance when it comes to sex. Making someone feel worthless. There is a very thin line between making fun and constantly mocking a person. This is the boundary of emotional abuse. Constantly ridiculing a person can result in loss of confidence and self worth for oneself.
“The bold aren’t always actually bold and the ones that seem meek aren’t always so weak”
I hope someday people realise that so many behavioural patterns that we accept as norms or normal behaviour are actually a type of emotional abuse, enacted to assert control. To call abuse .. “abuse “ – is not over thinking , or being overly emotional , its being rational and vigilant about what is going on and nobody should be ashamed of it.
The do’s and don’t in a relationship, that are subtly or aggressively defined by only one of the partners in order to assert control over other and have them isolated from other social groups is a prevalent behavioral norm.
Look around yourself and take a moment to observe and absorb. Stop for a moment, think and enact accordingly.
Image source: pixabay
Shikha Poddar a mother & entrepreneur, born and brought up in India is a versatile feminist writer who writes in Hindi and English. She is also known for curating classical music evenings and promoting the read more...
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"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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