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Don’t Ever Ask Why I Didn’t Report Him… Because I Was Scared…

Posted: February 5, 2021

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A survivor of gender based abuse is often asked why she didn’t report it. Maybe she was asking for it? But how can she, when she is afraid of him?

*Trigger warning: There are graphic descriptions of violence against women, which might be triggering to survivors.

Why I didn’t report?

Because I was scared. I was scared he’d come out someday and burn me alive.

Because I was scared. I was scared he’d attack me for vengeance.

I was scared they would demean and accuse me, instead of empathizing.

I was scared he would attack me with acid.

I was scared that no matter how much courage I show, how many police complaints I make, how strongly I fight, he won’t take NO for an answer.

Because for him, NO means take revenge. NO means try again. NO means too shy to say yes. NO means anything except NO.

I saw what happened to the people who reported. So, don’t ever ask me why I didn’t report.

I will report, the day you are willing to understand my trauma.
I will report, the day you realise that I wasn’t “asking for it”.
I will report, the day you stand with me in the fight for justice.

I will report when it is safe to.

Till then, don’t ever ask why I didn’t report.

This is triggered off the recent incident in which a man attacked a woman with an axe, because she reported him to the police. Every day we hear of such horrifying cases of violence.

Image source: a still from the film Kabir Singh

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