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My parents and I have received a lot of 'friendly advice' from interfering family members under the guise of being my 'well wishers'. Just. Keep. Away.
My parents and I have received a lot of ‘friendly advice’ from interfering family members under the guise of being my ‘well wishers’. Just. Keep. Away.
Family. What a beautiful word. Associated with care, love, and affection. Unfortunately, it’s hijacked by a few unscrupulous people under the garb of ‘well-wishers’.
Being an only daughter to my parents, I was raised with lots of love. My middle-class parents ensured that I realised the value of money, and didn’t disrespect Goddess Lakshmi. Having said that, they left no stones unturned to fund my education.
Later on, when I expressed my intent to learn German, there was not an iota of hesitation in their saying a YES. It was, mind you, expensive in those days. It still is. But it was clear – they had immense faith in me. I didn’t disappoint them, either.
It was those set of relatives who call themselves ‘well wishers’, who made the loudest noise, all under the garb of ‘care’. Some of the objections were-
~ Foreign language courses are so expensive. Why waste so much money on them?
~ If you spend so much money now, how will you be able to marry her off?
~ She is becoming too westernized. How can you control her later?
~ She is already in her 20s. When will we get the good news?
~ Why can’t your daughter get a job in a BPO and support you?
I have to give my parents their due credit. Despite all the negativity around them, they stood rock-solid with me. But what got my goat was, why did these people have to poke their noses when it was absolutely not required? Who gave them the moral right to diss my life?
If you think my marriage would have changed their perception, then you are wrong. Under the guise of ‘helping’ me, they spewed their usual nonsense.
Some of their ‘friendly’ advice at my wedding was –
And the torment continues to this day.
~ Why is she not wearing a mangalsutra?
~ Why is she dressing up like a whore? (I haven’t make this up!)
~ She doesn’t look like a Tamilian.
~ She doesn’t keep in touch with us.
~ No babies? All ok?
It’s impossible to change the traits of people around me. I realised that much later in my life. Now, I don’t bother about these trivial things. These good-for-nothing, silly people can go on, but I choose to ignore it. Life is now peaceful.
Is that what’s called a ‘change in mindset’? I do not know. Whatever!
Image source: a still from FilterCopy
I am an IT professional, lost in the monotonous world of Excel. So, I seek refuge in Word, pun intended. I write for various literary platforms and have quite a few anthologies to my credit. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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