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Every time I listened to what 'they' told me, I lost a little more of my true self.
Every time I listened to what ‘they’ told me, I lost a little more of my true self.
I wish I hadn’t looked back when…
They told me, you are a quiet child, when I was in kindergarten.
They told me, you need to speak more.
They told me, your heels are too high, when I was in high school.
They told me your skirt is too short.
They told me, basketball is for taller girls.
They told me to sit crossed legs, it makes you lady-like.
They told me, girls and boys cannot be best friends.
They told me, solo trips aren’t for girls at all.
They told me that good marks will make your future bright.
They told me, good girls don’t dance like that.
They told me, do not do night shifts or “just change your job!”
They told me, a woman sacrifices for her family.
They told me not to stay alone in a different city.
They told me, don’t go out alone.
They told me, late nights and discos are bad for me.
They told me, hanging out with friends too much is not what girls should do.
They told me to get married soon.
They asked me, when are you going to have a baby?
They told me, don’t have more babies.
They told me, may be you could have more.
They told me, don’t talk about bold topics like sex and love.
They told me to be well dressed all the time.
They told me, to attain something, you have to lose something.
They told me, you ought to learn to cook.
They told me to eat a little more.
They told me to put on a little weight.
They told me, you look so good in dresses.
They told me, you should spend more time with us.
I wish I hadn’t looked back and listened to what they said.
Because each time I did, I just lost a part of my true self and was just being what they wanted me to be…
It was always about what they wanted and never about ‘ME’!
Top image is a still from the Hindi movie, Cocktail
Blogger, Writer and Content Curator. Author of 'Infidelity-An Outrageously Funny Affair and The Ultimate Rom-Com' - available on Kindle. read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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