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A KBC contestant made a 'joke' about changing his wife's face by plastic surgery with his prize money just shows how regressive we can be.
A KBC contestant made a ‘joke’ about changing his wife’s face by plastic surgery with his prize money shows just how regressive we can be.
Koshlendra Singh Tomar, a KBC contestant and Gram Panchayat Secretary, recently came into the limelight for a slightly different reason. Tomar made a so-called ‘joke’ about changing his wife’s face through plastic surgery with his prize money.
This seemingly ‘harmless’ joke not only brought out an insensitive and shallow side but also surprised Amitabh Bachchan. Big B had to rightfully ‘school’ Tomar for his thoughts. He also told Tomar’s wife not to listen to him in this regard.
What struck me was why would someone want to change their partner in the first place? Marriage is not for the convenience of one gender and no one is a puppet in anyone’s hand. Hence, getting bored in a marriage simply because a couple has stayed together for a long time is unfathomable.
In a marriage, two people evolve together and share a life, so why make them lose touch with their own identity? Cracking such a sick joke on national television doesn’t just bring out a negative side, it also makes me wonder how his wife took this. How would he have taken it had she said the same about him?
I wonder why is it so easy for a husband to say such things about his wife. Be it Riteish Deshmukh’s (an otherwise devoted husband) hurt ego on being called Genelia’s husband (what’s wrong in being called that!) Or Tomar’s ‘idea’ to change his wife’s face via plastic surgery (as if it is magic switch!). Are they uncomfortable with it? Do they express themselves without thinking? Or do they take their spouse for granted?
I am no preacher of love or a marriage counsellor, but I believe everyone deserves respect. No one has the right to ‘joke’ about anyone’s looks! That is part of the other person’s identity.
“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove: O no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering bark whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken. Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle’s compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out, even to the edge of doom.” – William Shakespeare.
Rosy lips, dimple chin, and an hour glass figure will change with time and we must have the sense to accept reality. We need to understand people cannot be changed with plastic surgery or Botox!
Mr. Tomar won a meagre amount in KBC and other than plastic surgery, here are some healthier options he could have opted for:
Some food for thought, perhaps!
Picture credits: Stills from KBC 12
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Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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For International Day of Elimination of Violence Against Women, let's look at how we 'accept' mothers who avenge violence against their kids, but not wives who fight back.
The silver screen is replete with depictions of male rage and men engaging in violence, but when women engage in violence, even when it is reactionary violence, it doesn’t sit right with us. We allow mothers (as portrayed in Sridevi’s Mom and Raveena Tandon’s Maatr) to avenge their daughters and resort to violence when all else fails, but when the abuser is an intimate partner, the rules appear to be different.
Depictions of female rage on screen garner mixed reactions. We root for protagonists and films we agree with like Mom or Maatr, but there are also films like Darlings which drew flak for its depictions of reactionary violence.
This begs the question, which women on screen are allowed to fight back and why do we root for some of these characters while refusing to see where others come from?
This Generation To Generation Violence towards A Daughter-in-law Needs To Stop!
It is ironic how women in the same home do not think twice before harassing a woman who left her parents and family behind to live with her husband.
“My daughter needs a husband who listens to her. He should leave his family to stay with her after marriage. He should be well-off and not let her do chores.”
“I also need an obedient daughter-in-law, who will be an unpaid servant and a punching bag who shouldn’t have a life of her own.”
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