The year 2019 has been tough for me and my dad as I lost my mother and he lost his wife. My mom’s 8 year-long battle with cancer and my dad’s as her primary caregiver came to an end on May 7, 2019. Early this year, the cancer relapsed with a vengeance and she succumbed to it. April has been the toughest month as her condition deteriorated gradually with every passing day. She had pneumonia, suffered multiple organ failure & bedsore. It was painful to see her trying to eat with the rice tube on. I prayed for her fast release as she never deserved to be in such excruciating pain.
I wish she was with me for a little longer, I wish she saw her grandchildren grow, I wish she saw my new house. But my wish is nothing compared to her pain. When I used to sit beside her bed and wipe her tears, I realized that our loved ones shouldn’t be alive in so much pain just for our sake. So when death took her away on the auspicious day of Akshay Trithiya, my only comfort was that she is out of pain now. It’s difficult for a family but it is also important to let go of the person whom I love the most.
I know nothing is in our hand and death is inevitable but I refuse to be a puppet at the hands of fate. I accepted the inevitable and I realized that she is in me, as me. I established a divine connection with my mom that started with the umbilical cord. So, if it is true that those who depart, become stars in the sky, I look up to the brightest star in the sky each night before going to bed and have a short conversation with my Venus. I feel she can see me better now. Words fall short when feelings take over.
So, in the year 2020, I will be strong and spiritual.
First published here.
Introductory Image Credits: Pixabay
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