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Despite all the suffering, she tries to manage things and accept the new home as hers. But she is rarely allowed to do so because it is her husband's home.
Despite all the suffering, she tries to manage things and accept the new home as hers. But she is rarely allowed to do so because it is her husband’s home.
All their lives, women look for their own houses where they can live with dignity and pride. The house they can proudly call their own house. Before they are married, they say they live in their mother’s house and after marriage, at their husband’s house. It is said that women are lucky because they have two houses to live in, however, the truth is that things are rarely in a woman’s favour.
Once a woman is married, she struggles to get respect in both her houses. But in India, it is said that, ‘Maike se doli aur sasural se arthi uthti hai’ (A woman leaves her parent’s house in a palanquin and leaves her in-laws’ house only after she’s dead)
The woman is rarely welcomed at her parent’s house after her marriage. When she visits, she is treated like a guest and if her in-laws have permitted her to stay for a few days, the society starts questioning her stay. ‘How long is she going to stay there?’ ‘Why is her husband not coming to pick her up? She is so lucky that her husband and in-laws allow her to spend time with her family!’ These are some of the things she has to hear.
Why are men not asked such questions? All their lives they live with their parents but rarely think of the sacrifices made by their wives. They consider her coming to their house as a ritual and are rarely bothered about it.
The woman is considered to be a guest even at her husband’s place, she is treated as a guest because she is someone else’s daughter. And a daughter-in-law can never become a daughter, can she? If that is so, then why do these people expect to be treated and respected like a family by the women whom they don’t even think of as a daughter?
She keeps listening to all the comments and complaints about the work she does. And she is never appreciated. Despite this, she tries to manage things and accept the new home as hers. But she is rarely allowed to do so because it is her husband’s home. She is rarely ever respected there.
Instead of spending money on your daughter’s marriage, save it for her education, and make her independent. Give her time and space to do something of her own, so she can at least say, ‘This is my home.’
Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Yeh Rishtey Hain Pyaar Ke
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My house-help asked excitedly, “I am going for wedding. Can you let me wear your red & black saree? To be honest I was stumped for a moment; I didn’t know what to say but I still said yes.
I lent a gorgeous saree to my house-help for a wedding in her family. Soon I stated getting questions if I would wear that saree again or if I was okay to be seen wearing the same saree my house-help was wearing?
We are all so conditioned to give our used clothes to our house-helps but are we okay to wear the clothes they were wearing?
A few days ago she came excitedly to me, “I am going for a family wedding. I want to wear your red & black saree, Ill wash and give it to you after the function. Please can you let me wear it?”
Beauty is a very clever, very evil capitalist tool. It traps those who have it into hanging on to it for dear life and those who don't into mutilating, torturing themselves to achieve the unachievable.
I recently wrote a piece about MP Shashi Tharoor’s tweet in which he had shared a pic with six women parliamentarians tagging them and saying “Who says the Lok Sabha isn’t an attractive place to work?”
There was a rash of comments on the post shared on Instagram, which ranged from “chill, it’s just a compliment” and “stop overthinking compliments”, to (worried) men lamenting about “these feminazi”.
Here’s my answer to all those comments.
If she told her family about her marital issues they would create problems. But if she told no-one, she would succumb to the suffering.
The world has always been a beautiful place, filled with evil that humans spread. And the story I am about to tell you is about one such evil.
There was a lot of rush at the Malhotra house. A family was coming to see their daughter Sneha for her wedding. Sneha was a well-educated working woman who had finally agreed to her parent’s wishes of getting her married.
Times are changing and so are we... So what's wrong if I want a 'live-in-son-in-law' -- Ghar Jamai for my daughter when she grows up?
Times are changing and so are we… So what’s wrong if I want a ‘live-in-son-in-law’ — Ghar Jamai for my daughter when she grows up?
This thought crossed my mind as I was making my daughter sleep one night. Very lovingly she cuddled up to me, still holding on to my shirt, clinging on to me with one hand. I too lovingly brushed my fingers over her head. I couldn’t stop admiring this li’l apple of my eye for long (just like many other moms). I realized that time is going to fly and my daughter will soon grow up, and so I must treasure and cherish all these little moments between us before they pass by like a fresh breeze.
Life never remains the same for anyone. It is only in the moments that we must love and live life. Tomorrow isn’t certain and so we must love every moment as if it was our last. I told myself that just like me, even my daughter is going to get married one day and leave my home.