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Despite all the suffering, she tries to manage things and accept the new home as hers. But she is rarely allowed to do so because it is her husband's home.
Despite all the suffering, she tries to manage things and accept the new home as hers. But she is rarely allowed to do so because it is her husband’s home.
All their lives, women look for their own houses where they can live with dignity and pride. The house they can proudly call their own house. Before they are married, they say they live in their mother’s house and after marriage, at their husband’s house. It is said that women are lucky because they have two houses to live in, however, the truth is that things are rarely in a woman’s favour.
Once a woman is married, she struggles to get respect in both her houses. But in India, it is said that, ‘Maike se doli aur sasural se arthi uthti hai’ (A woman leaves her parent’s house in a palanquin and leaves her in-laws’ house only after she’s dead)
The woman is rarely welcomed at her parent’s house after her marriage. When she visits, she is treated like a guest and if her in-laws have permitted her to stay for a few days, the society starts questioning her stay. ‘How long is she going to stay there?’ ‘Why is her husband not coming to pick her up? She is so lucky that her husband and in-laws allow her to spend time with her family!’ These are some of the things she has to hear.
Why are men not asked such questions? All their lives they live with their parents but rarely think of the sacrifices made by their wives. They consider her coming to their house as a ritual and are rarely bothered about it.
The woman is considered to be a guest even at her husband’s place, she is treated as a guest because she is someone else’s daughter. And a daughter-in-law can never become a daughter, can she? If that is so, then why do these people expect to be treated and respected like a family by the women whom they don’t even think of as a daughter?
She keeps listening to all the comments and complaints about the work she does. And she is never appreciated. Despite this, she tries to manage things and accept the new home as hers. But she is rarely allowed to do so because it is her husband’s home. She is rarely ever respected there.
Instead of spending money on your daughter’s marriage, save it for her education, and make her independent. Give her time and space to do something of her own, so she can at least say, ‘This is my home.’
Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Yeh Rishtey Hain Pyaar Ke
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Relatives kissing children's penises made me wonder how this is leaving boys vulnerable to potential abuse under the garb of affection.
As we witness in all Indian family gatherings – whether a wedding, a birthday, or a summer vacation – nostalgia soaks us all.
However, one such gathering exposed me to a horrific practice that, though common in many houses worldwide, is very problematic.
It all started with my horror at hearing one of the supposedly funny anecdotes about my cousin’s birth.
Many men suffer from an inferiority complex when their women are earning. They feel their wives will rise higher in the professional worlds.
I hear many women tell me about how they are privileged that their husbands do not want them to work.
One claims that her husband wants her to have a luxurious life and just relax and rest. Another feels her husband just wants her to stay at home and enjoy cooking. Some feel that their husbands just want them to look after the children. Some other women look at these women and feel that they are so lucky and fortunate to have such loving and caring husbands.
My question to these luxurious women is that then why did you educate yourselves? Why did you painstakingly study? Is your purpose in life to only be dependent on your husbands for money? Do you not have any skills that can be utilized? What about teaching and showing others what you have learnt.