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Often, when we fail to manage our anger, it can open a Pandora’s Box of troubles.
We all have mood swings every now and then. It is when these mood swings turn to quick anger outbursts, they get worrisome. Anger is an emotion that needs management, when it really gets out of hand. It is really funny sometimes as to how easily I blow my top off these days. My anger is almost like a soda bottle fuzz, it goes off the moment I let off the steam. However, there are time when I am unable to manage my anger and it leads to a foot in my mouth sort of situation!
Often, when we fail to manage our anger, it can open a Pandora’s Box of troubles. We end up saying things we regret later, we yell at people around us and sometimes we even resort to physical violence. Anger management may not necessarily mean not getting angry at all. Instead, it simply means being able to understand why you get angry, deal with it and learn to express it a healthier way.
We may seldom feel that we have learnt to manage our anger, however some tips to better it can always help us calm down. For example, as parents we tend to yell at our children when we are angry or upset. However, studies have confirmed that using positive affirmations with kids always tends to work better. I usually try and step away from a situation for a while when it’s making me extremely anger or gets me fuming.
The positive side to being angry toward few things, also exists. Say, you are angry over some sort of injustice happening and you manage your anger by doing something to improve it.Experts, suggest many ways and tricks to help to calm down and manage your anger. Here are few tips that have helped me manage my anger positively.
Often, we tend to get angry when things don’t go our way! We need to accept the fact that things and people will always be different. Hence someone’s way of doing or saying a particular task will be different too. We also get angry when we are running late or are trapped in a situation.
The lock down is one such situation where we do not have any control over it. In situations like these, we can only do and change what it within our control. Occasionally your health could lead you to be upset or angry, such conditions need rest and medication. Try reorganizing your schedule, the tasks you do or even writing things down, helps you let off the fume easily.
I am someone whose anger is like soda bottle fuzz. Often, I calm down the moment I have let off my steam. I even blame my bad memory for not being able to stay angry for long.So, before you are eager to let off your fuse, take a few moments to understand what is it that is making you angry. Is it a person or a situation? Once you have learnt to Gage what is making you angry, it will become easier to manage your anger!
I can often recognize my anger from a distance. Hence, I immediately start distracting myself and engage myself into something constructive. If you are someone who can recognize the anger building up, you can even start working on it. Seldom, detaching yourself from a situation or a person that makes you angry for a little while, can help you stay calm and focused.
When we are angry, we tend to get angrier thoughts. One of the best ways to manage this anger is to talk to someone about it. If you consistently think about the bad things when you are angry, it’s only going to take your anger to a higher level. You can try thinking about facts instead of adding exaggerated reactions to your current situation. Self-talk can also pep you up!
There are times when tend to mask anger with other feelings we are experiencing. It will help, if you try and understand the underlying reason for your anger. For example, when I am worked up about completing a task within the deadline, I tend to snap a lot. These underlying reasons could be different for different people. There are some people who cannot handle criticism or feedback and immediately get angry. Some get upset when they are disappointed. Once, you are able to identify and gage the feeling that is making you angry, it will be easier to manage your anger.
For a lot of us, having an outburst of anger can make us feel better. I would suggest, getting into an empty room and screaming out loud. You can even stand under a shower and cry out your anger. There are different techniques to manage anger. However, if your anger is an everyday situation and you find it unable to control it, then it’s advisable to get some help too!
First published here.
Image source: Unsplash
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She would serve everyone fresh food and serve herself the stale rice and curries from the previous meal. Some days after finishing the leftovers she was so full she would not even be able to even taste the fresh food.
When I married the first time, my MIL told me that during the Navratri the lady of the house should not eat stale food. ‘Gharatlya bai ni shila khau naye’ — in refined upper caste Marathi.
I was just 26, eager to please, not versed in patriarchy or feminism, and it seemed like a positive thing — respect for the goddess in woman.
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