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So is it mandatory having a brother to complete the family? Aren’t the ones without them seem to live a happy and contented either?
I was brought into this life by an innocent womb,
Without the knowledge of what will be my gender.
She loved me, nurtured me day & night with her every breath,
Now just because I am a woman, I also demand to have some candour.
I don’t beg for love nor do I cry for respect,
I have the will power and heart to win in every aspect.
All I ask for is to have a point of view & vocalize,
Mere gratitude when I support back my creator with thy choice.
Till date, a few aunties exist in this 21st century who will ask me about my siblings and when I will reply saying “We are 2 sisters”, they will ask – “Koi Bhai Nahi hai? (No brother?).
It’s not a new thing that whenever we see a girl/woman supporting her parents, we refer to her as “She is her parent’s son”. Or when a girl child does wonders in some field, the parents say, “My daughter is no less than a son”.
When we designate her as a boy, what happens to the other roles that she plays? Are they not worth anything? Is her contribution as a sister, wife or a mother not enough that we want to twin her to a boy. One moment you designate her the title of a Boy and the next you lookout for a suitable match to marry her off because after all daughters are “Paraya Dhan”.
When a girl supports her parents, she becomes susceptible to the judgements and hyper criticality by this society that’s built around us.
While we never raise a brow or refer to a boy as a girl if he starts living away from his parents – which is very common in India as most of the parents share same space with their son and his family.
To me, every such women or girl is a true inspiration to all the generations. I know not everyone is fateful enough to do that but at least respect the ones that have got the guts to do so.
Dear husbands, while your wives are doing what comes as naturally to you, you must respect her decision and support her just like you would expect her to support your parents.
Food For thought – Are all those parents living with their son seem happy? What’s the guarantee that a son will always be the “Bhudhape ki Lathi (The ultimate Support of old Age)”?
It is seldom a part of society’s gossip about a girl whose parents live with her, whether she is married or not – They say “usne parents ko apne saath Rakha hua hai (She has kept her parents with her)”.
When we live with our parents before being married, are we ever referred to as being KEPT with our parents? No right!!
We should be proud enough to get a chance to serve our parents when they need it the most.
Our kids are blessed to spend time with their grandparents.
We can provide the best comforts to them, some of which they deprived themselves while they were busy raising us to be good human beings.
The lesson of equality should begin at home. We should teach our kids from a younger age as to how to behave and treat the other gender.
As much as we involve the girls, we should also make our boys participate in household chores. Then only he will be able to support his wife or sister in future. We should make them aware of a girl’s anatomy at home itself and nonetheless about periods. This coaching will help them grow into a compassionate brother, friend or husband.
If a boy likes cars as toys, the girl doesn’t need to like only dolls. If a boy likes to wear a pink shirt, accept it – but never tell them it’s not for boys or is supposed to be a girl thing.
If he cries on something, never tell that “don’t cry like a girl”. Because if we say so, we are not only lowering the dignity of a girl or a woman as being cranky but also programming the boy’s mind that girls are meant to cry and the boys cannot share their feelings openly.
Food for Thought – Raise our kids not necessarily the way we were raised but the way we brought them to life – Nonjudgmental & Unprejudiced!
The very seed to dream should be unbiased and the two should have the liberty to even dream irrespective of the gender. If a boy wants to wear pink, let him, if he wants to learn Classical dance, let him. Similarly, if your girl runs away from kajal and wants to go on a hiking trip, let her give a shot at it.
Both a boy and a girl should be taught to live as an equal generation with equal rules to follow and equal values to imbibe.
Food for Thought – A mother being impartial from beginning always respects and loves her womb irrespective of whether it will turn out be a boy or a girl.
Similarly, the life of our kids should be free from the tangles of gender and related influences.
They should be taught that it doesn’t come always to a win or lose, but it is about enjoying the moment, having an experience, building relationships and develop gratitude towards what life has to offer!
A Creative Writer by choice and an IT person by profession, Shruti likes to make use of her writings to reach more and more people & help make a difference to the way society has been read more...
This post has published with none or minimal editorial intervention. Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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