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Pamper Your Kids But Don’t Forget To Teach Them How To Be Independent

Posted: July 17, 2020

It’s good to pamper your kids, but it’s also vital to teach them to be independent so that they can manage both their personal and professional life.

Parents love for children, undoubtedly is unconditional. Every parent feels that their children are the most pampered ones and every child feels that his/her parents are the best. This applies to small kids to adults as well.

While parenting, how does one define love?

The meaning and perception of the word love are different for different people. If someone, regardless of the gender, can do most of the things himself/herself does that mean they aren’t loved by their parents; or does that mean it is pampering if one is not habituated to do anything?

Parenting, in my opinion, means raising our children with lots of love and affection, making them learn things, behaviour, capable enough to differentiate what’s good or bad, being able to make decisions like what they want to pursue, whom they must be associated with etc along with trivial things like what they need to eat or wear (LOL) in their daily life. Children must be raised in a way that they must have the courage to accept and acknowledge their mistakes.

Many times, we come across people who boast themselves that their children are not habituated to do anything as they are much pampered at home. This has been becoming like an achievement or kind of status these days is saying that “Hamara beta/beta, Hamara Ghar Mein pampering zyada hai tho use Kuch Karne ke aadat nahi hai”. On the contrary, some people love to say proudly that their children can handle and can help themselves in their day to day life.

Some parents desire to raise their children without facing difficulty as they had faced in reaching the position where they were now, is in a way making their children vulnerable to be dependent on either or both the parents for even petty things. Some parents might even feel it proud in saying that their child doesn’t know how to eat himself/herself even at the age of their graduation. (Sarcastically, if the same is said with a doctor, he  might suggest some exercises or activities improve their mortar skills)

Parenting and Pampering 

In another instance, a 21years old woman, who is successfully working as a lecturer in nearby village commuting daily in a local train and then catching up a share auto to reach college from the railway station, she is tuned in a way that she feels that she can’t commute in her town from home to railway station and back, until and unless her father or brother reaches her out. the railway station and back home. This is something like a baby elephant being tuned that she can’t break the rope that is tied to her leg, even though it grew up so big that it can even break an iron chain.

I have seen one of my married female friend who, like many other working women, used to live alone before getting married, doing everything right from getting the groceries to keeping her home clean and tidy, on her own along with her job. During her initial days of marriage, wherein one day when she in-laws visited their place, her father in law felt so bad and tensed that his son has gone out to get some vegetables just a few meters away from their home and he was like he would go out to get whatever is needed at home and that his son is not habituated to do such things.

Immediately when I heard this, the very doubt I got was, who shall go and get the groceries or vegetables needed after her in-laws leave. I’m not saying that it is wrong to expect her to get all those. But I didn’t understand how long are they going to guard and support their children even in such trivial things.

In another instance, one of my friend’s daughter in 7th class needed some stationery which is available in the shop just a few meters away from their home. Yet they waited until her father returned from his shift duty. If they don’t want to send their daughter alone to the nearby shop to get the stationery needed, her mother could accompany her and both of them together can get it themselves instead of waiting for such small things until someone comes to their rescue.

What are we making our children be like?

When they become adult and if two so-called pampered (as if those who are self-reliant are not pampered by their parents., LOL) girl and a boy get married, who is going to help them in their daily activities like buying vegetables, groceries, managing household work, etc., where both of their parents boast themselves that they raised their children with a lot of pampering and are not habituated to do such works.

What and how these children will sustain when they become adults. They might be very well in their academics and may do very well in getting good jobs. But will they be able to cope up with the regular activities that we can’t avoid daily? There are chances that both parents and children end up like the ones in the case of the married girl and the other one working as lecturer whom I mentioned earlier.

I feel it’s time that we all must introspect ourselves, which makes us feel proud. Is it when our children are independent and can manage both their personal and professional life or is it when they are successful in their professional life but are dependent on us or someone unable to handle themselves.

How To Combine Career With Motherhood

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