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Happy 10th Anniversary, To My Husband Who Smashes Patriarchy Everyday

Posted: May 30, 2020

A man who shares the load, who truly does his bit as father, and one who cares for his wife’s parents too – we are rooting for such men!

As we are about to complete 10 years of togetherness, I will not say like others do that you are a perfect partner, nor will I say that no one can understand me the way you do.

There is a reason for that – as after spending a decade together, most couples kind of become perfect for each other. They develop an exclusive understanding and share a unique bond. So there is nothing different in that.

Instead, I will share here what I am thankful for.

An amazing person who stands away from patriarchy

What I am thankful to God and my parents for is that 10 yrs back they have chosen an amazing person for me. Yes, you are one of the most amazing people I’ve met in my life.

In these 10 years I don’t remember even a single moment when you have made me feel that I come second due to my gender or that you are superior to me in any way; neither at the time when I was working outside the home, nor now when I stay at home.

I can see the same love and respect for me and you are always there sharing the workload (read, household chores which is considered as wives’ responsibility) with me. And sometimes, being stuck with your busy schedule, I can even sense your helplessness that you aren’t able to do more.

Even during the lockdown, when no outside help is available, you are always there taking it as our responsibility to do the work, rather than saying that you are helping me out, like most men are ‘helping their wives’.

You always appreciate me in front of everyone, whether it is the kids or any outsiders, for my efforts in maintaining the house, acknowledging the fact that I left my career.

You are always there supporting me, when I was working and when I chose to leave my career. And even now, you are there when I want to restart as a blogger and you- tuber. You are my editor (obviously not for this one!) for my blogs and videos.

A man who cares for my parents too

I have never seen that typical son-in-law attitude within you; in fact you are always a phone call away, always more concerned than me. You have the same respect for my parents as you do for yours.

Your respect for our parents, your concern and love for your brothers; even though you don’t have the art to show your feelings, being with you for 10 years, I can clearly see even what you don’t know how to show.

You are an astounding father, from taking care of me and the house when I was on bed rest during pregnancy to spending nights outside the NICU when our twins were there (three months premature) to comforting me at home, changing diapers, feeding them, going  to work during the day and spending nights taking care of the kids so that I could sleep … you were always there, and without showing off at any time – you just considered these part of your duty as a father.

You always make sure to be present at PTMs or for any other events at the school. During parties, you take on the responsibility of the kids so that I can enjoy myself.

Moreover, you are always available to help others around; apart from family I’ve seen your concern for the less privileged too, as a wonderful human being who understands the pain of others. Even if someone has taken advantage of you, you are still there to help them during their bad times.

After having said so much again, I’ll say again that you are not a perfect husband. Even after being together for 10 years, I still need to clearly tell you what I want, as cues don’t work with you!

We do have our share of fights and misunderstandings. But isn’t that what adds to the charm in a relationship?

Again, I thank God for sending this incredible person in to my life and making me believe that good men do still exist.

Always remain the way you are, and Happy Anniversary!

Image is a scene from the Hindi movie Tumhari Sulu

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I am a mother of lovely boy and girl twins. Chartered Accountant and Company Secretary

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