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In the world that demands perfect bodies, what do the normal person feel?
I go online to see his pictures So perfect, so handsome & so beautiful I scroll down and look at his body “so toned, so fit, so hot!”
And then I look in the mirror and see myself And what follows is a deep sigh A languish of sadness, unhappiness and pain
I try to love myself, I really do I tell myself, “it’s what’s inside that matters” But is that really true? With all these images, flashing in front of my eyes The Instagram pictures, the YouTube videos and chiseled bodies on TV And then I look at my friends transforming their bodies and lives, I find myself- inadequate and incomplete and lacking
Our bodies and faces have become the currency of modern intimacy Our bodies have begun to define the very basis with which we navigate our sexuality
This sexuality, so sexually charged and so explicit, I find it hard to keep up To keep up appearances, to look a certain way and feel a certain way, I don’t know if I can do it anymore!
I often feel as though I’m not beautiful enough, not worthy of love I touch the scars on my legs and it pains me to see them I see his photos, his beautiful body and it fills me with sorrow “Why was I born this way?”
I am a man and I feel this pain I try to convince myself that this too will pass That self love is key & that no two bodies are ever the same
But I can’t help but go back to his profile consume his pictures & compare our lives It’s a toxic feeling, one that hits me in my gut everytime
I rationalise, theorise and conceptualise the reason for my being and body I convince myself: “you are beautiful just the way you are”, but that is often not enough, and I know it
There are days when I feel beautiful, and then there are days I do not I seek validation, from myself and others And it is tiring, exhausting and saddening
These images are so upsetting, so demotivating and so off putting I don’t know what to do except channel this guilt and remorse through poetry
I have tried and tried, to get that body, to get that look, to lead that life and look “that” way But it’s not who I am Who am I then? And what do I truly desire? To be like him or to be like me? Will I find love if I stay the way I am? Or will I be rejected for someone “better”?
I do not know….
Image via Pixabay
Kanav is, as of June 2021, pursuing his Master's in Development from Azim Premji University, Bangalore. He identifies as queer for personal and political reasons and can be contacted via https://www.linkedin.com/ read more...
This post has published with none or minimal editorial intervention. Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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