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Durga Pujo, is also a time to celebrate the Goddess within you. The author was faced with the toughest challenge in her life last Pujo and this is her story of her rebirth
I am not the same woman you’d have met a few months ago. If not for the worse, an incident changed my attitude towards life for good. It was last October, just a couple days before Durga Pujo when it all happen. When it all changed my life permanently.
Being married for more than ten years, life had never been a smooth road. Except my driver and both my families, there was no one else I could rely on. Add to that, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, diabetes mellitus and subsequently been facing problems conceiving too!
But isn’t that how life is- a bumpy road where one needs to rely on and support each other? I was blessed to have them with me and even after this incident, it persists even stronger.
A day before Shosti, I asked Sunit (my husband) if we could go shopping. Although it was one of the jobs he disliked he reluctantly agreed. Our car was at the service centre since morning and we decided to take the scooty so we could pick the car up on our way. However, some sixth sense of mine kept knocking at my mind saying it wasn’t safe to travel by a two-wheeler.
Ignoring my senses, which I sometimes thought were because of my overthinking, we started off. Just five minutes before reaching the garage, a mini-truck, generally used to carry raw tea-leaves from tea garden to the factory, was speeding behind us. And I could see it in the rear view mirror that it was at a high speed.
It was just beside me and honking deliberately as Sunit was trying to cut away through the side. I sensed the danger but before Sunit could react to it I found myself lying on the road in a pool of blood.
There was no sensation of pain in my body as I was searching for Sunit. Once I made out that he was running towards me, I knew he was safe and I passed out.
The local government hospital was not able to relieve me of my pain and I had to be rushed to one of the well-equipped private hospitals. This hospital was two hours away from my house. Since I was under sedatives, I didn’t feel a lot of pain. But somewhere I knew that something terrible had happened to the lower part of my body.
It was after a couple of operations on my left leg I knew something was seriously wrong for there were gloomy faces all around. The team of doctors and my family had decided that I should be taken to the Sir Gangaram Hospital in Delhi. My condition was steadily worsening.
Under special conditions and permissions, I was flown to New Delhi and rushed directly to the hospital. The team of doctors observed me and discussed my case. Then they made the decision to operate on me the very next day.
While I was being taken to the operation theatre, I saw my husband who was almost in tears. Despite his tears, he was trying to console me and looked like he was more shattered than I was. He held my hand and stroking it, he said, his voice quivering, “Be brave. Everything is going to be fine.” I was awestruck. Never had I ever seen him in tears and the question arose in my mind, “What was it?”
It was in the OT the truth was revealed- that my high diabetic condition was not allowing the wounds of the fractured leg to heal. After my previous operation, instead of healing, the wounds were turning gangrenes.
If this condition persisted probably my whole body could be poisoned within the next 24 to 48 hours. That would drive me to more worsening medical conditions.
In such a situation by the permission of my only guardian, my husband, the medical team had taken the decision of amputating my left leg below the knee.
My mind reacted, “No, how could you people take a decision about excluding a part of my body without my permission!” But the sensibility in me told me to ask the medical team, “Is this the only option?”
The head surgeon stared at me. Behind his masked face and spectacles I could see those silent eyes which seemed to answer my question, ‘This is the only and best option right at this moment to save your life.’
I could feel my eyes get blurry with the tears, and my trembling lips whispered, “I believe you, doctor. Kindly go for it.”
The next thing I remember, is lying in a hospital bed and I as I came back to consciousness, I felt the warm touch of my husband on my left palm.
Before opening my eyes I tried to remember the whole incident that had happened to me. And why was I lying there. Slowly, I remembered my conversation with the surgeon. I shivered hoping it was a nightmare.
But, I knew it was the truth. I slowly sensed the tension growing on my shoulders. Sunit’s touch was the only assurance that I would be able to subside this moment. His touch was the consolation that everything would be fine.
The moment before I opened my eyes, I made myself a promise that though my darkness might see my weakness, my loved ones never will. I prayed to the Almighty in whom I believed, “Give me the strength to rise above every pain I am going through.” Then, I opened my eyes to this new world of mine with new vows and my search for the reason to stay alive.
I opened my eyes and caressed Sunit’s hand slowly, tilting my head towards him. He looked at me and smiled like an innocent child. Being together for more than a decade helped us understand the unspoken words in our silence. He held my hand as if making a promise that we both shall sail together through this turbulence to reach ashore.
Post operation, there were several complications that came for my wounds to heal because of my diabetic attributes. It took more than three months for the wounds to heal both externally and internally.
During this time I came to explore the other side of my husband, the sensitive side. I found out how much he cares about me when he tried to cook the food he could hardly master.
We moved forward one step at a time. I promised myself every day that I won’t return to the situation that I had been through. Every moment made me embrace the odds of my life, positively.
The day that I went to the prosthetic department to get prosthetics for my amputated leg, something else changed in me. I met twenty other people, some of whom were survivors of situations worse than mine. It was at that moment that I felt blessed and thanked the Almighty for my hands above me. I found my self teary eyed but I knew that these were tears of gratitude.
My life changed altogether in the past year or so. It was like my rebirth in the true sense with the realisation that when one is put in a tough situation, the only solution is to survive it. And when one comes out, they are at their own toughest and best forms.
I have got new consequences to meet and new challenges every day to cross through. However, every day is a ray of hope for me now. We are planning to adopt and life seems to be smiling back at me. I can finally see light through the cracks of the darkened box.
Picture credits: Provided by the author
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Cancer Stem Cell Researcher , loves to write about various experiences experienced in life.
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