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Women who opt for a c-section are often judged for not being able to handle the pain! However, here is a message from a new mom who underwent a c-section
As per their birthing experience, women are divided into two categories. There are women who have C-sections and the others who don’t. And there is a silent on-going war which is good enough to set one kind into guilt. It often makes them feel that they are not the right kind of mothers. Well, yes I am talking about the mothers who have had a c-section.
I have had a c-section. It was not that I wanted it, nor did I want to maintain my youth through my vagina. I did not opt for it because it was easy nor I wanted to escape the labour pain. Birthing is one of the most emotional (and for some a private) moments in a woman’s life. And being judged for a c-section without knowing why does not leave a good taste in the mouth.
Many women like me have had a c-section just to become a mother. It is not a choice but the hour of the need which is made instantly due to the given circumstance. We are still coming to terms with our c-section but in vain, as we are made to believe that we are not real mothers since we got our babies through an ‘easy’ way.
Before going in for the c-section I had several questions floating. Should I undergo the procedure? Can I trust my doctor? Is this because of me? But yes, I did manage coming out not just with a baby but also a scar. This scar is a constant reminder that I was cut open to birth my baby.
Moreover, it took me almost six weeks to recover, much more than the mothers who give birth vaginally. I was helpless, since I had gone through a surgery. And I found it difficult to get up from the bed the minute my baby would cry. I was asked not to lift any heavy things. Yes, I needed help!
Despite this ordeal, I am often mentioned as less of a mother as I gave birth via c-section. But let me make it clear, just like the vaginal birthers I love my baby, and have an amazing bond with her.
Recently, I had a deep conversation with my friend who was quite upset. Reason being that she had a c-section and was scheduled for another one after 4 years.
The first time she had a c-section, it was out of choice. She had to make a decision for her baby. Though she opted for a c-section, little did she know that she would be subjected to many wagging tongues for the days to come.
She was told that she is weak, and not a mother as she did not feel the labour pain. Second time around her family members started telling her that she should opt for an easy- read it as “c-section” – way to deliver the baby, since she was experiencing tremendous pain in the lower abdomen. Also, the baby was breech and refused to change her position till the last day. She did not realise that getting a c-section done would lead her to so many unwanted comments and advice.
In our country, those who have c-section are often frowned upon, since they have ‘missed out on the experience and joy of giving birth’. Yes, this is indeed true that they are robbed of all the joy and happiness irrespective of the fact whether they had a scheduled c-section, or they experienced a single contraction or no contraction. Or they ended up in surgery even after hours of labouring.
Agreed, the doctor physically takes out the baby, but the truth is that the mother does everything else. Their bodies grow and they nurture their little ones for nine months. Then they stay calm during the c-section procedure and recover. And with little help from the doctors, they bring their bundle of joy in this big bad world. Yes, this birthing is as amazing as a vaginal birth and no one has the right to question or discount this accomplishment.
While the c-section mothers carry a taboo of being less of a mother and weak, the reality is that we are not. Us c-section mothers just want you all to know that:
Just because we were cut open doesn’t mean we are less of mothers. We just wan you all to respect us like you would mother who gave birth vaginally.
This piece was earlier published here
Picture credits: Pexels
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