As A Feminist, Why I Am Raising My Son To Be A Feminist Too

We are teaching our daughters to be strong and independent, but are we teaching our sons to be feminists? Aren’t feminist men the need of the hour?

It was Daughter’s Day a few days ago and I am sharing a note as a mom of a baby boy. In this day and age, it is quite hard to raise a baby boy. It is hard not to make mistakes while raising a baby boy. Why?

Because, as a society, we are pushing our sons towards an existential crisis to a great extent. We are not preparing them, neither are we giving them a fair chance.

While we are educating and empowering our daughters to the best of our abilities, we are not equipping our sons to be able to comprehend the power of the same. 

Our daughters are being prepared to break the shackles of patriarchy. At the same time, our sons are being smothered with layers of centuries old knuckle dragging and chauvinistic attitude.

Do our sons know how to cook?

We are raising daughters to be in the army but are we teaching our sons to cook? While our daughters are being taught to fly high, to be independent, and to take care of themselves, are we telling our sons that it is okay for the wife to be the sole bread-winner and the husband to be a home-maker?

We are telling our daughters to be equal owners of the house. But are we telling our sons that running the household is the responsibility of a man too?

We are telling our daughters that it is ok if they don’t want to ‘settle down’ and have kids but are we teaching our sons that feeding the child is the responsibility of both the parents?

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Our daughters know that it is important to fight back and not be afraid to ask for equality but are we teaching our sons that it is ok take a back seat?

Be proud of her if she earns more

We tell our daughters today that they should aim for the star and dream of heading a global venture. Have we told our sons that if she earns more than you, then you should be even more proud of her? And not feel emasculated by that fact?

The daughter wishes to be on the board of a company, be the decision maker. Does the son want to know what groceries are needed this month?

Our daughters know that saying saying ‘no’ means ‘no’ and that consent is not vague, it is absolute. But do our sons know that?

Because that is the only way rape culture will ever end.

Unless there is a chance, there would be no change

So you see, until we give our sons a chance know these things, they will grow up totally unaware and be faced with the harsh reality all of a sudden. They won’t be equipped to be at par with our daughters, who are given the opportunity to be fair and stand equal.

These men will patronise and try to one up the women around them as they were brought up under years of toxic masculinity that claims women as unequal and lowly. We are denying our sons the power of knowledge by not creating awareness about the entrenched prejudice against women that the society carries. 

Why deny our sons of it? Do our sons not deserve this knowledge and apparent pitfall of the prejudices that are ingrained in the society? Why set our sons for failure?

I hope I can raise my son as a feminist

As a mom to a little boy, I sincerely hope that I can raise him to understand the true meaning of women empowerment. That it is not only freedom of choice/financial stability/the right to security and safety that is a woman’s right. It is definitely all that and more, but empowerment of women is also the freedom to make their own decisions. About everything. Be it clothes, bodies, or their choice in anything and everything they do or say. 

The right to make their own decisions and to be accepted with that.

I hope I can guide my son to grow up to be a man who knows to respect the right to one’s own decisions that every woman should have.

Let’s all hope that ours sons are woke and on board with the agenda and not left behind.

Happy equal parenting!

A version of this was first published here.

Picture Credits: Pexels

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