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We’re merely three months away from ringing in 2020, but some of us are still shackled by patriarchy and are being forced to get married? Will we ever grow?
It was during our girls’ vacation that the question popped into my head. Another year is on the verge of dawning, making us a little more practical, independent, conscious than the earlier on. But does it, really?
Being a millennial has made things easier in terms of our careers, and dreams. Still we seem to falter at the biggest block of our lives (especially girls’)- that of Marriage.
Now it is a cause of great dilemma- to be or not to be. I saw one of my friends morose and silent during our trip. She wasn’t her usual bubbly self. As usual I asked her to tell us what was bothering her. She silenced us by saying that she didn’t want to spoil the vacation and that she will tell us later.
However, pretty soon, one of our other friends spilled the beans. “There’s this guy she has been dating for two weeks now. And marriage speculations have begun in her family. They don’t want to delay the alliance since both of them have given their consent,” she informed us.
That was the source of the problem. I knew my friend. She wasn’t one to jump to conclusions so early. What was wrong with her? She barely knew the guy and planning already had begun? I mean, really?
My friend was happy in her personal space and was experiencing a great time both, in her life and career. All of us were planning our higher education next year– what books to read to crack the entrance exams, choosing the same college so we could spend more time together- in and out of college and the annual girls’ vacation. Everything was alright till her parents started pestering her to get married.
“You aren’t going to select for yourself, are you? We are taking the decision in our own hands. The biological clock is ticking away. You’re already 26, my dear,” these type of conversations made their away into what once was all about careers and better job profiles.
Disgusted with the constant pushing, she ended up making a profile on one of the matchmaking sites. Day in and day out, requests and interests poured in, leaving her embarrassed.
Every single conversation she had, was monitored by her family members. And then, finally! One day, she showed some interest in one of the candidates.
They dated for two months before they broke up citing some unreconcilable issues. I was the first one to receive this news. The first thing I asked her was,”How are you feeling?” I understood that she wasn’t ready to get married, then.
Barely within a week of the break up, there was this new guy about whom we heard while vacationing.
Crumbling under pressure, she admitted that she won’t be spared this time, as her family members were hell bent on getting her married. But she needed time. After all, how could she commit to a lifelong bond (or so it seems) with a guy she barely knew.
This is really annoying. Why couldn’t it be her choice about the time or person she was marrying? Why does there have to be a deadline for something that merely is a choice and not a necessity?
We tried to convince her in every possible way that if she didn’t want to, she didn’t have to agree. After all, no one would shoot her for wanting to take more time in this matter. She didn’t look convinced. Not only her, but even we, are not sure what the future holds for her.
So, dear parents, and whoever is concerned, here is the message: you believed in your daughter so far, please do the same for the rest of your lives.
Don’t make them feel guilty for not marrying at the right time because the word ‘right’ holds a different meaning for each of us. Getting locked in matrimony won’t ease the problems in our lives, it will only bring out more.
So it’s better to leave the matter entirely to the people who do or don’t want to get married. Let us take charge of our own lives and have faith, we will change the world.
Till then, even if one of us is pushed into the wedlock against our wish, the victory will only lurk in the distant horizon.
So, for the better, be with us and be proud to watch your daughters make their own destiny.
Picture credits: Pixabay
A nurse by profession.....I love travelling,music and martial arts......a bibliophile.....a raw
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