3 Thoughts That Helped Me Find The Silver Lining Of The Blackest Cloud Of A Break Up

Posted: January 2, 2018

A break up is the hardest aspect of a relationship to deal with. But there is always a silver lining to everything bad that happens. Read here.

Being a party to a heartbreak, and its aftermath, I set out to reflect and become conscious of what and how I was thinking or feeling, to bring back peace in my life. At one point in time, when I got fed up with how terribly miserable I was feeling, I thought to myself, “I have 60+ years of life to live, and there is one person that I choose to worry about, who is going to part of my life anyway, just in a different way.” (I can say that because I am not one of those people who would shut the other person out and not look back. I like to find myself capable of enough strength to acknowledge the good that came with him and a part that I owe entirely to him. Of course, I do take my breaks.)

And when we talk about pain, heartbreak in a relationship is only one way to look at it, but on a broader spectrum, isn’t it a simple feeling that comes when we don’t get something that we desire. The higher the intensity of desire, higher is the pain that we feel.

But surely the feeling of pain that comes with a heartbreak is blinding enough to not let us see some obvious facts therein. So, I thought to myself, “let me write what all I fail to see in that frenzy of emotion.”

Facts of life

My grandmother passed away, and the pain was excruciating, and it was similar when my grandfather did. But I got past it. I am now comfortable with the fact that people do not stay forever, something that I was absolutely not ready to accept the first time I dealt with the death of someone I loved. It took days just to accept this fact of life. Always known, yet never felt.

I think the hollow in my chest was bigger and more out of control when I felt it the first time when my relationship fell apart. Innocent as I was, I knew less about how to deal with it, and tears seemed the only way out. However, I did get past that as well. The fact remains, people may or may not stay.

Best of all worlds

I also learnt that, if you want, a break up is an opportunity to keep only the best of that person around. You treat each other with respect and importance because that person had once held a special place, and you have to never deal with what you always knew did not click between the two of you.

Identity of an individual

A break up is only the first phase of discomfort, and when that someone you like gets married, that is another phase. And that discomfort comes from your final realization of loss. A loss that has already been incurred, just not realized yet. Guess, our minds naturally have the tendency to be eternally optimistic. But this tendency does not come to surface until you come across that update on social media.

So, marriage, to us in some way symbolizes finality. The finality of loss. The loss that we feel on giving up an association with someone. And in all that obsession of an individual to be called ours, and ourselves be called theirs, we forget that life is only our journey. And all others are there to play a part, to stay or not, in different roles for different durations. At the end of it all, don’t people come to be known by their deeds, by what they built, by their passions, by their creations? With someone you are compatible with, your relationship does not have to limit itself to marriage. It is the energy between 2 people, that should know no bounds.

In that obsession, we also forget that somehow the fundamental meaning of love is lost and has turned into something less pious. Isn’t love meant to be unconditional? Doesn’t it involve components of respect, care, and all these emotions are independent of your form of association?

But we are humans after all. With care, comes jealousy, aggression, and in some way an energy that is quite strong. Just take a deep breath in and a deep breath out, and remember, this, too, shall pass.

Image source: pexels

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2 Comments


  1. Loved the way you expressed yourself. I am a big fan of yours. I always love your articles. Have faith in god and believe in yourself and it shall pass.

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