Some Things Are Always Better When Said [Short Story]

He called out for her from a distance, acknowledging her arrival and showering his fatherly love with a tight hug. And, here, Kinchu whispered in Nisar’s ears, ‘Didi, why don’t we ever get a hug like that?’. Completely understanding of her exasperation, Nisar hugged her and exclaimed ‘See, here it is!’ making an effort to take Kinchu’s mind off and completely aware of her incompetence in doing so. Not that their father did not love them, he, may be, just could not show it enough and while she empathised with him, the passing years of experience and encounters of life had made Nisar sensitive to the fact that ‘ability to express’, the positive feelings, was something she wanted to possess because it transformed moments and being a father’s daughter that she was, she lacked it.

She goes back in time to think of moments she cherished most. It was a hug from her father , the only hug so far, when she secured 90% in her board and with tears in his eyes he said, ‘I am so proud, you are first girl in our family to touch 90.’ It was the first time she heard ‘I love you’ being said to her and how it felt like nothing more honest and moving could ever be said. It was a page long mail of appreciation from her boss. It was when her mother showed her love by saying in all her simplicity, ‘Don’t say yes to the next proposal you get because I cannot see you through a heart break again.’ It was when her bestie reassured, ‘I may be getting married, but I am only a call away.’ It was when her 6th class professor gave her a birthday greeting that read, ‘Beauty is in simplicity’, and she had for the first time seen a beauty in her own simplicity. It was when her grandmother said, ‘Do anything you want’, and she felt she had never felt more empowered and wished these words were said more often to every daughter. While these are just a few, each memory is made all the difference with words.And the realisation grew stronger when some of her words made some life changing impacts. It was an apology to her friend 8 months after college that got him back in her life, or, sharing an experience with a student of class 11, who decided to change career stream and called back after 2 years to thank her.

 Obviously, these are fewer and she thinks of many more moments that required her to say exactly how she felt. These moments are her dear regrets. It was when she could not let her know sister that she believed in her no matter what. It was when she could not say the 3 words back because her eyes looked down in shyness. It was when she could not tell her masi that her presence in her life is irreplaceable. Though her actions did reflect some, but only some is what they did. Words needed to take care of the rest.

The strength of her inability still overshadows the intent and she knows that even if she got a chance to go back in time and say what she did want to, she would not be able to. And as she is like she is, everyday came with a moment when she said less than what she felt. The recent incident with Kinchu, when only their father’s hug could do the trick, triggered in her an urge to write, write about the infinite more memories and better relations that a few words could make. We don’t shy away from expressing disagreement. But when it comes to express love, why is it that some of us are shy, some of us have ego and still others think that life has taught them to shut up!Affection, she thought, demands to be put in words. It is everyone’s right to know that they are being cared for, that you feel good when they are around, that they make a difference, that you are there when and whenever they need you, that you like how she carries herself, that she looked pretty the other day, that you have not had a better cooked meal, that he is the best brother ever, that she is a true friend, that he completes and the list continues!