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OMG! What Have You Done With Your Hair?

Posted: August 21, 2019

That one haircut that changes all your perception about yourself, and sometimes comes from a disaster – a hilarious personal story.

“Travelling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.”
– Ibn Battuta

This was one such travel, that kept me not only speechless but capture-less too. Indeed all credit goes to my devilish HAIRCUT.

It was an ordinary, slothful winter afternoon, in January, 2017. I recieved a screen-shot and a few messages from Mukhujje Moshay (Mr. Mukherjee) through WhatsApp, stating that flight tickets were booked for four of us; from Delhi to Chennai, and from there we were supposed to travel to a couple of places in South India for 7 to 10 days, travelling date was after two days.

Aaiyo! Only two days to prepare for a long vacation? I am used to Mukhujje Moshay’s travel plan, though. Most of our vacations are impromptu plans. Therefore to get two days for all preparion was actually a privilege, in fact.

I am not a parlour kinda woman for various reasons, except my haircut and eyebrows. I had been considering about indulging myself with a comparatively shorter haircut, for a few days now, but was not getting the enthusiasm to go to the parlour, somehow.

Now, I had decided to visit a branded salon nearer to my place before the vacation. Anyway, I could manage the time on the previous evening only.

After reaching there, I heard that my regular hair stylist had left the salon a few days ago, and an extra-ordinary hair professional had been appointed too. I was quite skeptical, but then, was convinced by his professional record.

“Let me give you an oil massage followed by a shampoo wash first, ma’am,” he said.

“But I did shampoo in the afternoon,” I tried to say.

“You will feel relaxed after the oil massage,” his voice seemed convincing.

Yes, I knew, I was looking tired and pale and all that. Therefore, I agreed, but with a “Bhaiya! Do not take much time please, I have a toddler at home.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He said.

He was doing his job while continuously speaking about his experience and all. Then, like all other parlour people he said, “you have naturally beautiful hair, but you do not take care much. Use this particular oil, shampoo, conditioner…”

“Ok. Next time I will see.”

“Do you want a hair spa? It will…”

“Bhaiya, I am not interested, sorry.”

He finished my haircut and I asked him to bring a mirror, so that I could give a look at the back of my head.”

“Let me blow dry and set the hair first, please.”

“No need bhaiya, thank you.” I was worried as my children were at home with my newly appointed helping hand for so long.

“For my own satisfaction, Ma’am!” He was too humble with his words.

I had told him to give a shoulder-length step cut, and after setting the hair, I realised that it was much shorter. When I asked him, he said, “while setting the hair it was needed to cut a little more.”

“What’s the big deal?” I thought, “waise bhi, I do prefer short hair, I am too lazy to take regular care.”

The next day, we started our journey. Children were thrilled, cause Mukhujje Moshay told them, we were going to visit that Mandir, in Tamil Nadu (Madurai), which was featured in the film, Chennai Express, where Rahul Mithaiwala (Shah Rukh Khan) carried Meenaamma (Deepika Padukone) in his arms, while ascending 300 stairs to reach the Mandir. Later on, we came to know the stairs and the Mandir shown in the movie are of two different Mandirs (It’s another long story), though.

However, as long as I can remember, we checked into MGM Beach Resort in Chennai, directly from the airport. There, after taking a long shower, I sensed that something was wrong with my hair.

My daughter was first to notice that, “Mamma! What happened to your hair?”

I looked at the mirror and got a horror attack! My hair was so visibly uneven, I was literally looking like a WITCH! (Yeah! Yeah! I know, I am no better than a witch… but do not look like so, nah?!)

I realised that my overly experienced hairstylist actually couldn’t handle my hair, and tried covering it up while setting it with inward curls. As I washed my hair, it came down in its own avatar!

I hurriedly pinned my hairs with bobby clips and hid the weird style from the world.

Here, I can’t help but mention one thing, I never believe in ghosts and any such extraterrestrial existence. This time, in Madurai, we were in a resort, which was happened to be a country house of an ex-zaminder. Each door in that country house was decorated with some beautiful paintings – the model was same for all the paintings but in her different moods, of course.

Everytimes my eyes went on those paintings, I got goosebumps and felt as if I somehow knew the model, and her mysterious smile was trying to reveal something to me. I was definite, it was none other than my ‘witchy’ hairstyle that attracted all the extraterrestrial beings of that area!

After returning back from the vacation, I wrote a short story too, using that background. The Bengali version has already been published and English translation is on the way to get published.

Anyway, this was one of our most enjoyable and awesome vacations sans the “khich khich” about my haircut and sans a single click of mine. My toddler son unconsciously took a picture while we were roaming around Madurai and I stored it in my mobile memory after cropping over my head area.

However, after coming back to Gurgaon, I visited that Salon on that very evening.

They said, “we threw him out of the salon, as so many other customers too complained a lot.” They added, “Our sincere appology, Ma’am. But no worry, our newly appointed hairstylist will fix your hair in no time.

But I was so horrified with the phrase, “newly appointed,” that I somehow ran out of there and landed in “199 bugs wala” hair salon in HongKong Bazar.

The hairstylist there was worried to see my, ‘haalat,’ and said, “Kya kare Madam?” (what do I do, madam?)

“Bhaiya kuch bhi karke ek dhang ki cut de do, please, taaki mein bahar nikal saakun.” (Please give me some decent haircut so that I can at least go out of my home)

Abhi toh sirf boy cut hi ho sakta hai.” (Now only a boy-cut is possible!)

“Toh wohi kardo!” (Then do that!)

“Boy cut?!”

“Aur kuch kar sakte ho kya?” (Can you make anything else from this?)

“Nahin, Madam.” He sighed.

And I discovered the perfect hairstyle for myself in such a way. Mukhujje Moshay, who was totally unaware about the previous gaffe or even could not realise that I had had a haircut, suddenly noticed on that evening, “something has been changed!”

A couple of parties and programmes were in the queue at that time.

Everywhere, at the first glance, some were like, “OMG! What have you done with your hair?! What happened? Are you crazy?” While some other reacted on a positive note, “You are looking gorgeous, this one cut suits you the most.”

Whatever anyone said, I wasn’t going to reveal the whole incident and at the end of everything, thanked both the hairstylists and my experiences, for helping me to decide my ultimate hairstyle in future.

Ssshhh!!!!

Image source: a still from Tangled

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Munmun is the author behind the Bengali Novel, Mayasm: The Subtle Conflict between Inner Affinity &

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