I decided, Why Be Anything Else When You Can Be An Alpha Woman?

Be a horse in a world full of donkeys, says this author, who was labeled an alpha woman and bitch for speaking her mind. Here is how she learnt not to care.

Okay, so I’m an alpha female, or so the society likes to describe me.

Yes, I take the lead when I want to, and when I have to. It’s my choice. I step up when my family needs me, and I have the guts to argue with my parents, because I care about them.

I tell it like it is, and I live by my own rules. I don’t give a damn about anyone or anything. I wear what I want to wear. But isn’t this normal for all women? Don’t you all take charge of your family when in crisis? Doesn’t that make us all alpha females?

Infuriate them and move on!

I was fed up of listening to people pass comments about me, and describe me as ‘difficult’. No, you’re the difficult person because you don’t know how to stand up for yourself. It’s freaking irksome and aggravating!

I really am exasperated with such people, to the point where I refuse to communicate with them or even acknowledge their presence. I go to extreme lengths to avoid them, and blatantly ignore them. Yes, it infuriates them to no end, but I enjoy this.

Things I have been called all my life

1. She’s too dominant. I pity her husband. He’s going to leave her
2. She is never going to get a boyfriend or husband with that attitude.
3. Her in-laws are going to hate her!
4. No family will want her for a daughter-in-law.
5. She talks too much,
6. She’s too loud for a woman.
7. She thinks she’s all that.
8. She acts like the boss. But she’s just a new employee.
9. Who’d want to f**k that?
10. Great body, average face, repellent personality.
11. She’d be desirable if she’d keep her mouth shut.
12. She’s an activist, don’t argue with her.
13. She’s too passionate.
14. She’s obviously single, who’d want to date that?
15. Her husband must be really brave to marry her.
16. I heard she has a boyfriend, how does he put up with her? I bet he’s too scared to break up with her.
17. She must make her poor mother do all the housework.
18. She’s a bitch. I hate her.
19. She thinks she’s all that.
20. She has guts to fight with someone older than her. She doesn’t know her place.
21. I was just joking, why she is offended? She can’t take a joke!
22. In my time, women wouldn’t speak in the presence of elders. I wonder how your parents raised you.
23. You just started your career, don’t indulge in fights. (The man told me take sexual harassment like a pinch of salt, so I called him out for it).
24. Who has sexually harassed her? Even sex offenders would fear her. Maybe they did it to reform her behaviour (They laughed after they made this statement).
25. I’m telling you, one of these days she’s going to get raped and beaten for retorting like that. She deserves it though.
26. She must be gay, she loves standing up for LGBT rights. Besides, no man wants her. (I have never been an LGBTQ rights activist; as a journalist, I cover the issue, that’s it)
27. She always gives her opinion.
28. She’s too blunt.

How I deal with such people

I wanted to confront all those people who made these statements. But then I realised, that I’m a horse now. I have piles of my work and am focused on my goal. I have become so intransigent with my behaviour that people have learnt not to mess with me.

Yes, they regularly gossip about me, but I rarely even think about these people. Now that I look back, I can’t remember the names, faces or even reasons why I loathed those people who labelled me a lesbian or psycho. I just did my thing and moved on.

Be a horse, not a donkey!

They are still unhappy with their lives. It’s not you. It’s them. So be a horse with blinkers, because people whom you barely talk to, will not be able to catch with you. Nobody notices a donkey.

A horse is majestic, fast and can cross all the hurdles and so can you. Just put on your blinkers, (in my case my earphones with good music and the occasional sit coms) and strut your stuff. It doesn’t matter if it’s the kitchen or the office. Play a song that you like and do your thing. Do not even look at the pest behind you, next to you or in front of you. Look at the task in front of you, and go!

Your life is definitely better without these people

People will create rumours about you anyway. So, why bother? Petty jealousy, envy, sadism are the major reasons why they resent you. Just think about this, and smile.

Your life is way better than their miserable ones. Most women hear the list of remarks about themselves. However, tough women, who state their opinion have it harder.

My ‘I-don’t -give-a-damn’ attitude has kept weird people at bay. This attitude will ensure that you have become a bonafide celebrity, so just let the mayhem occur around you whilst you munch on that popcorn and focus on yourself. It’s all about you and the people and things you care about!

If you have any other way of dealing with such negative behaviour, that’s effective, do let me know!

Hope this was helpful!

Picture credits: Pexels 

Saanjanaa

An aspiring woman who is much more than her body type, selfies, shoes, looks and

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