For Too Long I Have Been Silenced; Now I Have Rage…

A young woman, looking back at her life, and the way she has been shamed, and labelled, and the wounds and scars of all that – do read further to find out more.

One more instance of someone telling me how to live my life

How can I be calm when I’ve been dictated all my life?

And this isn’t only about that

It’s about shame. Another reckless accusation

To instill shame

It is this that wakes the devil in me

Boils my blood till it seeps through the skin

Reminds me of the internal bleeding

Of when my mother shamed me

And called me a slut, I lost speech

She ripped me apart so carelessly

It took so long to tear myself from there

But today I realize that it still lies bare

Sore, septic from unhealing

It took just a pinch to unleash the all-consuming pain

Now I have rage,

Not for her but every single slave of the society

Who shame rule breakers, who demean outlaws

Who try to tie me down

Who think they can tell me what to wear,

Where to go, when to come or to leave

How to speak, how to please, what to want and what to need

When to hold my tongue and choke breathless

They have the audacity to tell me how to live

Not anymore they can’t

For too long I’ve borne these shackles

For too I’ve been silenced

For too long have I lent my life to others

So long that I forgot it was mine

They started knowing it theirs

It’s time now to take the reins back

To the ones like me

The outcasts of society

The shamed and condemned

Remember your claim

For the rule breakers are who bring social change

Reformers of tomorrow are the Rebels of today

Image source: a still from Naam Shabana

Hitakanshi Ghoshal

Writer, poet, feminist, mental health survivor and advocate

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