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Be kind for the heart never forgets how it has been treated.
The heart never forgets the way it has been treated. I know a cook who would be around fifty. She rarely smiles. Sometimes when I have friends over she comes to cook. Her repertoire is limited. She can make about ten dishes all Punjabi style but lip-smacking. We have long conversations when we are in the kitchen. She told me she was working as a live-in maid in a flat in Mumbai when she was only thirteen. Her Madam and Sir would not let her use the fan even in sweltering summers.
So one day Madam and Sir had gone out she went off to sleep. They came back and rang the bell and finally when this girl opened the door after a short while, they really beat her for going to sleep and this little girl wept and cried, so they finally sent her home. She tells me till the day she still curses still them and she can still feel the pain inflicted on her.
A friend of mine had gone on a ten-day long trek. It was evening, the trek was over and she was sitting in her tent feeling cold. Her teeth were chattering so she went into the next tent. Her friends were there and one of them noticed her shivering. He quickly put a lot of kambals over her to help her become warm. Her shivering stopped and this act of kindness stayed with her always.
Another friend was telling me that when she finally managed to build a house of her own, she called her friends for dinner. The friends went around the house with a magnifying glass possibly to make fun of her house. In the guest bedroom, there was a peg attached outside the cupboard. They burst into peals of laughter looking at the peg. Till date, she could not figure out what was funny but she was so apologetic about it and the house she was proud of seemed like a joke.
Now they say to throw out toxic people from your lives but at that point, she did not know. Now they are no longer friends but still, the peg episode never goes away from her head and heart.
These are small snippets of how small acts of kindness and unkindness can impact one’s life. Both of these extreme actions invoke extreme reactions from individuals and the incident stays with that person forever. So, choose to be kind. Choose to impact someone’s life positively. Choose to be compassionate and see how the world responds to you.
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Why do women have to go through so much trauma just for being women? Who gives men the right to behave in this way?
Trigger warning: This post contains depiction of normalised violence against women, and may be triggering for survivors.
My belly is living proof
of the life I have grown, held, and birthed
a ‘permanently pregnant’ swell
stretch marks and a caesarian scar
that still itch
an experience I wouldn’t trade in
except for what I was told by the father of my child.
It is easy to give in to patriarchal expectations from a married woman and lose your self in a marriage, but the path to happiness is in keeping your independence.
Marriage is often described as the joining of two individuals’ bodies, minds, and souls. Upon getting married, you are expected to share everything with your partner, including time, money, and all other aspects of life. Your life should revolve around your spouse from beginning to end.
But is it necessary to spend every waking moment with the spouse? Are you not supposed to have a life apart from your spouse? And do these rules apply only to women or men as well?
Although both men and women may face this situation, women are generally expected to give up everything once they get married. Despite progress in several areas, expecting women to abandon their interests, passions, and friendships to align their lives with those of their spouses is still considered the norm.
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