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Life becomes beautiful and comfortable when your partner can easily relate to your thought process or as they say when the two have matching wavelengths. Every situation becomes more enjoyable and all kinks seem straightened out.
That time when the other person can understand even before you speak, don’t you feel blessed?
It is good to have common interests and feelings but is it always necessary? Is it always essential that we must have common goals as well?
Well, I don’t find it imperative though. After all, we are not clones of each other. We don’t even have the same thumb print, lip mark, or an eye pattern, then how can we be similar in all aspects.
Apparently, there ought to be differences, for otherwise won’t life sound boring after sometime.
It is good to have a sort of different mindset and different outlook towards various things and situations in life. It adds more value to any relationship. You can learn new ways to reach out to life and deal with different incidents.
Any relationship is ought to have dissimilarities but that doesn’t mean the end of the world. We know how difficult it get at times to control our agony and frustrations but the sooner we learn to control our emotions and not let them empower our words, the easier we’ll be able to handle a situation with grace.
A lot many times, we have so much going on at the back of our mind, probably something you feel awkward or different about, may be a situation or the way your partner might have behaved but you hesitate to share it with them, thinking it is not that important at the moment or he/she may not like it. Many times, we expect a response but are left with a silent note, as if we are here to practice the art of telepathy all the time.
Doesn’t this happen with most of us that such experiences haunt us back time and again thereby drawing us away from our partner, giving a sense of discomfort at times, slaying the positivity and eventually giving birth to a reluctant behavior?
One must realize that now is the time to bring the devil out.
While one of the partners may want to just talk about the situation (well, it’s mostly we women who start first, isn’t it?) and clear out the misunderstanding then and there only, without delaying, the other may like to give it some time and space and let the situation recover at its own course. Isn’t the silence at such times, really exhausting?
It’s good to respect each other’s basic eccentricity, but who knows how much time and space should it take? Why to linger on and loose on the precious time that the two could spend together and cherish the bond of understanding.
When we leave things as it is without clarifying for say a week which we usually call COLD WAR, and then when things get sorted, we feel guilty of losing the quality time.
Have you felt yourself trapped in a situation sometime, when you just wanted to spit it out but couldn’t as you felt petrified about the reaction of other person? While same is not the case with men. Some men just take it out without even considering the feel bad factor.
Words have meanings, give them a meaningful voice and build up a healthy conversation!
Talk to your partner at a good time when you think he/she may be in a better mood to share.
May be building up a situation intentionally for that matter, if that helps.
Whittle down the list of things that concern you from the most important and urgent ones. Share your thoughts with your partner. Make them realize how you felt. In the end, it may just turn out to be an assumption you might have built over or it may actually force the other person to think about their behavior.
If in case, the other person approaches first for settlement, don’t forget to appreciate!
Don’t just talk for the sake of talking, rather try to make other person share their feelings as well. And it is also important that you be a good listener at the same time.
One should not start conversations with a blaming tone – as to “you did this”, “you did that”, “you were being selfish”.
However, connected we may be, or how old the relationship may be, we don’t know the other person’s state of mind at all times. How much good we may be at it, but we can’t read people mind every time. We can just try to understand the way they react and why. To do that we can put ourselves in other person’s shoes for a while. This will help us realize why the person behaved the way they did.
You would not like to end the conversation before it could even start.
Hence a good choice of words is a must! Try opting for words like “I may be wrong but I felt like …” or “I feel you did it this way may be because..”. This will definitely help in building up a platform for a good conversation where none of the partners feel being humiliated or accountable for the whole mess.
Remember, the motto should be to clarify and bring out what’s been unsaid and not to belittle the other person!
Don’t nag as in why my partner doesn’t listen to me or doesn’t have time to talk to me. Rather make an attempt to have yourself heard!
While it is all about understanding and being patient instead of being always impulsive, it is also important that we give space to the relationship – in terms of the time spent, some sort of privacy, liberty to have a different point of view, to actually aim at building a frank cosmic space between the two so that thoughts and feelings can be easily shared.
There ought to be contrasting likes and dislikes for a man and a woman. The way a woman sees a situation is not always the same as a man. As much important it is for us women to take a break and visit our parent’s house or plan a girl’s trip, the same it is for a man to have a breathing space or a Men’s trip for that matter.
The level of trust, love and understanding between the two is the foundation of a well-spaced yet closely connected bond.
In today’s fast pacing era, we get less time to actually sit down and ponder on how things look at the brim and what’s actually going on deep within. Hence, it’s important that we not sit back on our feelings for someone. Talk about it, chalk out what both can do to smoother the road ahead and work on it.
For any of your other relationships, be it with friends, parents, siblings, or at work, the same thumb rule of conversation is the game changer. Just for being at work, conversations need to have more of a professional tone than more of personal or emotional.
It primarily depends on the way you introduce the pain to other person and launch a conversation.
Sometimes personal relationships do need to be focused upon and not be taken for granted.
Appreciation is one thing that goes hand in hand in all sorts of relationships – be it at work or home or our friends.
While we do not hesitate to appreciate our co-workers at work, then why implementing it at personal relationships seems so shallow?
Everyone likes to be appreciated. We all are doing our bit in whatever we are doing to keep the things going with our work, families – be it a man or a woman. Take example of a housewife or it could be your mother, wife or sister. Most of the times we think what exactly they do at home? Just for once, realize what will happen if they don’t do what they do even for a few hours! If you see yourself in that situation and feel like less appreciated, it’s no harm in sharing that with your partner.
Also, show some token of appreciation for every elderly or younger person you come across, be it the person at grocery store, the security guard at your office’s front desk or your apartment.
Remember, it may not always be the other person who is at fault; you could be the one up for trial.
If you are ready to give your best for a relationship, you should first learn to be aware about yourself. It will not be that hard for you to be brave enough to accept the shortcomings that affect your attitude and your relationships, in the end affecting yourself.
The principal thing is to prepare oneself for the challenges of a change, a change which will help you improve your relationships resulting in sheer peace of mind.
When we expect others to change, we should be prepared with all our heart to make certain alterations in our self as well!
At the end, do not forget to thank the Almighty for the all the blessings you have received in form of a wonderful family, lovely life partner, cheerful workplace and friends.
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A Creative Writer by choice and an IT person by profession, Shruti likes to make
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