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Aamir khan was recently trolled for posting a candid picture with his daughter for being 'obscene' and 'promiscuous' The writer feels otherwise and reminisces about her own bond with her dad.
Aamir Khan was recently trolled for posting a candid father-daughter picture as being ‘obscene’ and ‘promiscuous’ The writer feels otherwise and reminisces about her own bond with her dad.
“They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps.” — Anonymous
I’ve always believed that behind every strong woman, there is not just another strong woman but also a supportive man. In my case, I’ve been fortunate to be blessed with a strong mother and a wise father.
Being the eldest and the only girl amongst the offsprings meant I enjoyed complete power and freedom as a child. I have twin brothers as my younger siblings and yes, I was the dominant force amongst the three of us. A large part had to do with the fact that I was the ‘apple of his eye’ for my father, and enjoyed his complete support in whatever I did or failed to do.
The greatest gift that my father gave me was never making me conscious of the fact that I was a girl. I was never told that girls cannot do this or that I have to behave a certain way owing to my gender. My home was truly a non-judgemental space for me to flourish, and both my parents never differentiated between my brothers and me. It was only when I stepped into the outside world that I would see the bias, both marked and camouflaged, but not within the four walls of my home.
Recently, there was an online furore over a pic of Aamir Khan and his 21 year old daughter, Ira Khan. This picture made me nostalgic, taking me back to my own precious father and daughter moments. I could easily picture myself in Ira’s place and my dad in Aamir Khan’s place. Yes, we are exactly that father-daughter duo type. I used to sit on my father exactly like the way Ira sat on her dad, Aamir Khan, right from childhood all the way post my marriage, much to the amusement of my father and mother every single time!
I remember my father shooting embarrassed glances at my mother when I would sit on top of him as an adolescent. And, they would look at me bemusedly. But, I was naive back then, and I never understood what was so wrong. After all, I have been sitting on my father while he lay down ever since I was a baby and I would love to sleep on his big belly. That was my eternal happy place.
I stopped doing this only after I became a mother. Motherhood made me grow up overnight. It was the time when I shed a lot of my juvenile ways. Not only did I graduate to being a mother from a daughter, my dad graduated to being a grandfather. Needless to add, the nature of our relationship has changed ever so slightly since.
Coming back to the controversial picture, I loved the picture of Ira Khan atop her father. It depicted innocence, playfulness, intimacy, purity and love. I fail to understand the logic of trolls who sermonise that the picture is ‘pornographic’ in nature and their act, immoral.
All I have to tell them is: Sometimes, we need to step out of our rigid outlook on life and comfort zone, and look at life from another person’s lens. We’d be surprised with our discovery.
I rest my case with this beautiful quote by a noted writer,
“Ordinary father-daughter love had a charge to it that generally was both permitted and indulged. There was just something so beautiful about the big father complementing the tiny girl. Bigness and tininess together at last—yet the bigness would never hurt the tininess! It respected it. In a world in which big always crushes tiny, you wanted to cry at the beauty of big being kind of and worshipful of and being humbled by tiny. You couldn’t help but think of your own father as you saw your little girl with hers.” — Meg Wolitzer
Header image: Facebook/Aamir Khan
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Tina Sequeira is an award-winning writer and marketer. Winner of the Rashtriya Gaurav Award in association with the Government of Telangana, Orange Flower Award by Women’s Web, India's leading website for women, read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
You do not have to be perfect. There’s no perfect daughter, perfect employee, perfect wife, or perfect mother. These are just labels created by society, for their convenience.
So here you are, just out of engineering college, having no clue why you pursued Electronics Engineering. Yes, I know, like many others your age, you too were persuaded by your parents to opt for engineering because it supposedly gets you a lucrative job.
Believe me, however strange this might sound, you’ll soon come to realize that a high paying job need not always make you happy. And there are a myriad courses and career options out there, you should definitely consider something that’ll make you look forward to go to work every day.