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A lot of sexist behaviour is camouflaged as 'just joking'. It's time we called it for what it is!
A lot of sexist behaviour is camouflaged as ‘just joking’. It’s time we called it for what it is!
Today I had posted on my timeline about how “Jacqueline Fernandez’s remix does one thing though – makes you count ‘Ek Do Teen’ till you go running to Madhuri’s Ek Do Teen for succour and that epic isn’t copyable.”
We girl pals on FB were indulging in gentle banter remarking that sadly, Jacqueline who is brave enough to be called foolhardy, ends up as a caricature thanks to the dance director and director’s ‘visions’. Hence the dance-director should bear the brunt too.
We also agreed that some songs are unbeatable because the ladies featured in them bring their innate grace to the supposed item/meat numbers.
And then, an irrelevant, sexual comment was dropped by one of the male pals. About how men stop at the bosom while we women worry about ribcage, dress etc.
For a moment I was stunned. Somehow this felt uncalled for. And this was not the first time this man had comment-bombed (for lack of a better word) and indulged in sexual innuendos. Sadly, the man is in his 50s with a growing son. So some decorum was expected.
Was I to ignore this comment hoping that someday he might realize that it isn’t kosher?
How often haven’t we laughed at those WhatsApp forwards which declared our husbands to be lazy couch potatoes who were so challenged that they needed to be directed to the kitchen counters by our able hands and sagely countenances?
But my irritation lingered on, like a festering wound.
I then unfriended the man.
Am I overreacting? Am I being a prude?
Maybe yes to both. But sometimes you have to walk the talk.
You have to say ‘No-More! This isn’t acceptable!’
And the first step begins with me.
Right now, the man might be calling me unmentionable names at my idiocy and pricey behaviour.
But I rest easy.
Because I did do right!
Anupama Jain is the author of:
* ’Kings Saviours & Scoundrels -Timeless Tales from Katha Sarita Sagara’, listed as one of the best books of 2022 by @Wordsopedia. Rooted in the traditional storytelling of Indian legends, warriors, read more...
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If her MIL had accepted her with some affection, wouldn't they have built a mutually happier relationship by now?
The incident took place ten years ago.
Smita could visit her mother only in summers when her daughter had school holidays. Her daughter also enjoyed meeting her Nani, and both of them had done their reservations for a week. A month before their visit, her husband told her, “My mom is coming for 4-5 months!”
Smita shuddered. She knew the repercussions. She would have to hear sarcastic comments from her mother-in-law for visiting her mother. She may make these comments directly only a bit, but her servants would be flooded with the words, “How horrible she is! She leaves me and goes!”
Are we so swayed by star power and the 'entertainment' quotient of cinema that satisfies our carnal instincts that we choose to ignore our own subconscious mind which always knows what is right and what is wrong?
Trigger Warning: This has graphic descriptions of violence and may be triggering to survivors and victims of violence.
Do you remember your first exposure to an extremely violent act or the aftermath of a violent act?
I am pretty sure for most of us it would be through cinema. But I remember very vividly my first exposure to aftermath of an unbelievably grotesque violent act in real life. It was as a student at a Dental College and Hospital.
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