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A lot of sexist behaviour is camouflaged as 'just joking'. It's time we called it for what it is!
A lot of sexist behaviour is camouflaged as ‘just joking’. It’s time we called it for what it is!
Today I had posted on my timeline about how “Jacqueline Fernandez’s remix does one thing though – makes you count ‘Ek Do Teen’ till you go running to Madhuri’s Ek Do Teen for succour and that epic isn’t copyable.”
We girl pals on FB were indulging in gentle banter remarking that sadly, Jacqueline who is brave enough to be called foolhardy, ends up as a caricature thanks to the dance director and director’s ‘visions’. Hence the dance-director should bear the brunt too.
We also agreed that some songs are unbeatable because the ladies featured in them bring their innate grace to the supposed item/meat numbers.
And then, an irrelevant, sexual comment was dropped by one of the male pals. About how men stop at the bosom while we women worry about ribcage, dress etc.
For a moment I was stunned. Somehow this felt uncalled for. And this was not the first time this man had comment-bombed (for lack of a better word) and indulged in sexual innuendos. Sadly, the man is in his 50s with a growing son. So some decorum was expected.
Was I to ignore this comment hoping that someday he might realize that it isn’t kosher?
How often haven’t we laughed at those WhatsApp forwards which declared our husbands to be lazy couch potatoes who were so challenged that they needed to be directed to the kitchen counters by our able hands and sagely countenances?
But my irritation lingered on, like a festering wound.
I then unfriended the man.
Am I overreacting? Am I being a prude?
Maybe yes to both. But sometimes you have to walk the talk.
You have to say ‘No-More! This isn’t acceptable!’
And the first step begins with me.
Right now, the man might be calling me unmentionable names at my idiocy and pricey behaviour.
But I rest easy.
Because I did do right!
Anupama Jain is the author of * ‘When Padma Bani Paula', listed as 'One of the 5 best books of 2018 - Fiction', by readwriteinspire.com. It is a breezy novel about second chances of life and read more...
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She would serve everyone fresh food and serve herself the stale rice and curries from the previous meal. Some days after finishing the leftovers she was so full she would not even be able to even taste the fresh food.
When I married the first time, my MIL told me that during the Navratri the lady of the house should not eat stale food. ‘Gharatlya bai ni shila khau naye’ — in refined upper caste Marathi.
I was just 26, eager to please, not versed in patriarchy or feminism, and it seemed like a positive thing — respect for the goddess in woman.
But soon I realised she spent the remaining 356 days of her year finishing leftovers. And that I was expected to do the same.
We say that we live in modern times and talk on subjects like feminism, supporting your loved ones, encouraging them to follow their dreams. But how many of us can really say that they actually do that?
We live in a world where there comes times in everyone’s life when one has to make choices which will leave a long term impact in not just their life but on the lives of those attached to them.
Giving the ones you claim to love the freedom and space to make their own choices and the wings to fly is not only the right thing to do but sometimes its also the thing they need the most; without having to face the ‘guilt’ of living the life they want.