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Valentine’s Day for married couples doesn’t seem like such a big deal. But here’s why married folks actually need this day of love even more than the singles!
Valentine’s Day is round the corner. One more day to go! And I cannot contain my excitement. I am already visualizing roses, peaches, satin ribbons, strawberries, butterflies, ladybirds, chimes etc; basically, all things colourful and beautiful. The chirpy, mushy person in me is all set to experience the sheer happiness of loving and being loved.
But wait. Hang on. I might have missed out a teeny weeny detail. I am not a teenager. I am not a girlfriend. I am also not ‘single, ready to mingle’ waiting for my knight in shining armour to sweep me off my feet.
On the contrary, I have crossed over to the other side of the life span. I have hit the 30s. I am married. The second half of 2017 will mark my fifth marriage anniversary. And for the sake of clarity – my Valentine is none other than my husband.
Have I simply burst the big fat romantic bubble? Did I make you roll your eyes over? Did I just make your eyes pop out? Or did I invite a smirk? Or did I manage to just about amuse you?
Well. I hope you are nodding in disagreement. However, in case your answer to any of my questions above is even a mild ‘yes’, read on!
I met my spouse in 2004…yes – 13 years back. We met in the electrifying environment of college festivals and the rest is history. After 9 years of knowing each other, sticking through thick and thin, we finally tied the knot in 2012.
I distinctly remember our first Valentine’s day. The excitement was overwhelming to say the least! And that excitement has been consistent each year. Even though we would be in different cities building our careers, we ensured that we made Valentine’s Day special for each other – whether it be a surprise visit or a thoughtful parcel!
And then we got married.
But – other than our ‘status’ on paper, nothing changed.
In fact, on the first Valentine’s Day post marriage, I remember that I was thrilled because now on, we could actually enjoy this day together as a couple in our own space called ‘home’! It was so comforting and so liberating! I decorated the whole house with hand-made trinkets, paper and glitter stars, picture collages and cards.
Marriage is a beautiful event in life. It is meant to formalize the fact that two people are going to share their lives together, be there for each other, complement one another, multiply their joys, and minus their sorrows. So should the fact of being married change the ‘significance’ of Valentine’s Day for you? Is it true that Saint Valentine wished to reside in the hearts of boyfriends and girlfriends to the exclusion of husbands and wives? My answer is a definite ‘no’…simply because love is love.
While unmarried couples in different degrees of relationships go about ingenious ways of ensuring that their love interest feels special on this day, married couples seem to let it just pass like any other day! And that’s really not fair. Why restrict the celebration of love to marriage anniversaries only? Why not on Valentine’s Day too?
In fact, I believe that the importance of Valentine’s day is way more for married couples than for unmarried ones! You know why? Because we tend to believe that post marriage, there is no requirement for validation of feelings for each other anymore! Hence, we become complacent, don’t feel the ‘need’ to express love on a particular day, which in other words means – we take our spouse for granted! That sounds a wee bit harsh…but even if an ounce of it is true…that would be sad right?
To all you lovely couples – each one of you is blessed that you wake up each morning to the company of your Valentine. So go ahead. Make this day special! Express! Say things that you thought your spouse ‘knows’ anyways. Do things that you enjoy doing together. Go for that long due theatre visit. Watch that pending rom-com film. Take that quiet walk. Make a meal together. Go buy that one costume you have your eye on since forever and wear it to dinner. More often than not – even the simplest of things make for the most gorgeous memories. Or even better – surprise yourself! Bring the unexpected out of you – for your spouse – and in turn – for yourself!
Until then – I am all set to embrace the pure happiness of Valentine’s Day and express to my husband that I love him with all my heart and soul. I am as thrilled about it as I was when I was my 22 year old self, fresh out of college, sharing a slice of Cassata ice cream with him, chatting until sunset.
Am I being hopelessly romantic? No. Actually, I am being downright practical. As practical as could be.
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I am a corporate communications consultant, columnist, and former lawyer. I help organisations speak to
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