A story of love, loss and second chances by Nikita Singh, releasing this Valentine’s Day.
Are you taking care of the calcium needs of your child ?
Ever since we announced my pregnancy at 12 weeks, I had to face this question a lot. Sometimes from complete strangers too.
“You are going to be a mom. How do you feel, eh?”
Like a Pigosaurus.
Yup. That was the first response that would pop up in my mind. Of course I didn’t say it out loud. For two reasons – First, my hormone-ridden moody self couldn’t be arsed into explaining what that meant and second, it wasn’t the expected answer!
Thanks to the cover pictures on the various parenting and baby magazines, a to-be-mom is ‘expected’ to be that glowing image of a woman of perfect shape, perfect hair, happily gazing at their perfect round belly while sitting in the balcony of her impeccable home, and did I mention she is always happily smiling at everyone? I was not any of it. Ha !
I couldn’t actually decide how I felt. It wasn’t as simple as a switch being flipped and turning the ‘motherly’ mode on.
In fact, when we went for our very first ultrasound, I didn’t know what to expect. So when the technician told me that that loud drumbeat was the beautiful sound of my baby’s heartbeat, I exclaimed loudly and said, “Really? I feel like ‘Ripley’ from those alien movies!”
I know I know, I feel really silly about it now, but it gave us a good laugh then. It wasn’t until my bump grew to a size of a football and I needed thrice as much space anywhere, be it the couch or getting into the car, that I started feeling different.
There were times when I would be grumpy, whiny, tearful and just pure angry for no reason at all, making it very difficult for those around me and always getting my way. I would watch a comedy and cry my eyes out and eat a large double cheese pizza all by myself. Twice a week. I blamed it all on the hormones (and sometimes still do. With two ‘kids’ – an almost 20 months old and a 33 yr old, it’s a necessity I say!).
Dunno … what would you say to a feeling where you feel incredibly happy, super cranky, tired, restless, sleepy, hungry, emotional, beautiful, fat, more hungry, sick, bloated, energetic, excited, scared, strong, vulnerable, overwhelmed, pee-machine, hot, cold-the-next-second, hungry again, won’t move a muscle tired, motivated and lost, confused, confident, did I mention hungry … all at the same time. How do you describe the “going-to-be-a-mother” feeling? Which emotion do you pick?
For me, it was feeling all of these all at once. I couldn’t put a finger on which I felt more than the other. Except that I should probably eat something while I pondered. So I would smile at the question, pick up my just delivered large pizza and put on another episode of Rules of Engagement while I ate my way through it … Like a Pigosaurus.
Become a premium user on Women’s Web and get access to exclusive content for women, plus useful Women’s Web events and resources in your city.
Published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
Wife. Mommy. Friend. Lover of tea and fantasy books.Blogger too.
Been with the IT
I’ll Always Be Your Mom, My Baby, Though We Lost You In 9th Week Of Pregnancy…
Erase The Word ‘Sacrifice’ From Motherhood: A Mother Is Also A Human Being Having A Life
Why The Severe Vomiting Early In My 2nd Pregnancy Was The Best Thing That Happened To Me!
76 Point Something: A New Mom Shares Her Vegan Weight Loss Journey
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Sign in/Register & Get personalised recommendations