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Ever since we announced my pregnancy at 12 weeks, I had to face this question a lot. Sometimes from complete strangers too.
“You are going to be a mom. How do you feel, eh?”
Like a Pigosaurus.
Yup. That was the first response that would pop up in my mind. Of course I didn’t say it out loud. For two reasons – First, my hormone-ridden moody self couldn’t be arsed into explaining what that meant and second, it wasn’t the expected answer!
Thanks to the cover pictures on the various parenting and baby magazines, a to-be-mom is ‘expected’ to be that glowing image of a woman of perfect shape, perfect hair, happily gazing at their perfect round belly while sitting in the balcony of her impeccable home, and did I mention she is always happily smiling at everyone? I was not any of it. Ha !
I couldn’t actually decide how I felt. It wasn’t as simple as a switch being flipped and turning the ‘motherly’ mode on.
In fact, when we went for our very first ultrasound, I didn’t know what to expect. So when the technician told me that that loud drumbeat was the beautiful sound of my baby’s heartbeat, I exclaimed loudly and said, “Really? I feel like ‘Ripley’ from those alien movies!”
I know I know, I feel really silly about it now, but it gave us a good laugh then. It wasn’t until my bump grew to a size of a football and I needed thrice as much space anywhere, be it the couch or getting into the car, that I started feeling different.
There were times when I would be grumpy, whiny, tearful and just pure angry for no reason at all, making it very difficult for those around me and always getting my way. I would watch a comedy and cry my eyes out and eat a large double cheese pizza all by myself. Twice a week. I blamed it all on the hormones (and sometimes still do. With two ‘kids’ – an almost 20 months old and a 33 yr old, it’s a necessity I say!).
Dunno … what would you say to a feeling where you feel incredibly happy, super cranky, tired, restless, sleepy, hungry, emotional, beautiful, fat, more hungry, sick, bloated, energetic, excited, scared, strong, vulnerable, overwhelmed, pee-machine, hot, cold-the-next-second, hungry again, won’t move a muscle tired, motivated and lost, confused, confident, did I mention hungry … all at the same time. How do you describe the “going-to-be-a-mother” feeling? Which emotion do you pick?
For me, it was feeling all of these all at once. I couldn’t put a finger on which I felt more than the other. Except that I should probably eat something while I pondered. So I would smile at the question, pick up my just delivered large pizza and put on another episode of Rules of Engagement while I ate my way through it … Like a Pigosaurus.
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Published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
Wife. Mommy. Friend. Lover of tea and fantasy books.Blogger too. Been with the IT industry for 10 years and now on an adventure trip to explore life. JamieAndMamma is a parenting/personal blog dedicated read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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