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Financial independence is often the key to a woman's freedom of choice. We women need to wake up to this reality in our lives and take steps.
Financial independence is often the key to a woman’s freedom of choice. We women need to wake up to this reality in our lives and take steps.
Financial independence. Its mode may differ from one person to another but the value remains same – self esteem, decision-making.
But what if you are not earning? When your all home and personal needs are decided and satisfied by others? With others I meant those consider themselves in authority over you in the family: father, mother or husband. It is unbearable when the person is highly educated or talented enough to earn for oneself, and yet cannot due to circumstances.
Dear girls, women, and house wives I hope I have touched a sensitive point in you. Let us take a look at how it happens for most women.
When she was a little girl all her wishes and needs were fulfilled even before she expressed it before her parents. She sometimes got more than what she wished for. She was provided the best of education. Speedily she was capable enough to earn for herself. A while later she started growing along with her career. And soon, she got married.
She welcomed a new beginning, new start. With the new commencement she desired to carry on with her old career. She could not. All things changed in her life. She was in her husband’s happy life but not in his decisions. Was she happy? Maybe, but not content.
Whatever she wished for, it was all provided to her. But now she had to ask for every little thing. Once she was questioned, “is this really important, do you need it now?” Maybe it was not, but it shook her inside. Silly woman, she is not earning, so she cannot spend as she desires! She went into her shell covered by hard emotions. She is never denied anything essential, but is not included in any decision making, and certainly cannot do as she wants.
Her duty was to take good care of her house. The least expectant she is, the more people liked her. Her new family was always worried, does she need anything? Is she given all the facilities, she is happy enough? They did care for her But nobody seemed to understand why she was not any more her original vivacious self. Slowly the chirping happy soul that she was turned into a solitary owl around the house. She was omnipresent yet invisible to her own identity. A happy family to the world was engulfed deep down in depression. Unnoticed, unaware and unhappy.
This is the story of every other house nowadays. India must be at the top of the list for its depressed women. This is one amongst so many reasons why the situation has worsened.
A girl is taught, given education and when she can fly high with these, her wings are curtailed. She goes back into the shell of old womanhood and this contrast becomes difficult to bear. Life becomes burdened.
There may be many untold and unobserved versions of this pain. Let the world see them. If you are a homemaker, you are working as equally as the men of your house. Share your thoughts, talk about money matters too.
And if it is still difficult, get up, cross over the doorstep and be ready to struggle with your conditions. Shed off the shield and start the journey towards being an ‘I’ from being a ‘she’.
Image source: shutterstock
A space tech lover, engineer, researcher, an advocate of equal rights, homemaker, mother, blogger, writer and an avid reader. I write to acknowledge my feelings. read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
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