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"You have given me the gift of independence, Mumma and I love you for that." A letter asking a mother to remember her own lessons, at a low point in life.
“You have given me the gift of independence, Mumma and I love you for that.” A letter asking a mother to remember her own lessons, at a low point in her life.
Here is the second winner of our June 2016 Muse of the Month contest, Kanal Trivedi.
The cue was: “Once you stop worrying what the world will think of you, your life will become that much easier to live.” – Anita Nair, Ladies Coupe.
I have taken so much pride in introducing you as a working mother to all my friends and their parents. I thought you were a superhero. Now, I know you are. For all these years, you have so beautifully handled everything that came your way. You are indeed a ‘multi-tasking genius’. You are the reason I believe all women have special powers. You made it look so easy that we forgot that superheroes can have flaws too.
As I sat on the bed with fever, I saw the mist in your eyes when you packed lunch to go to your office. I know you wanted to be with me when I had my first period. I also know how hard you tried to get a leave on that day I was going to get an award. You were late to most of the annual functions and I complained constantly about it. Most of the days, you forgot to have breakfast but my plate was always hot and welcoming.
Every time we would have a get-together, you would pick tasks that were faster to complete; not because you weren’t committed to it but because you simply couldn’t find time. And trying to balance it all, you would end up leaving no time to dress to the occasion. I know people didn’t like it when you came a little late to the function. I also know they gossiped about you. I didn’t see it then under the brave face you portrayed but now I remember you were sad to hear those things.
Remember that day when I was upset about a friend teasing me and you told me, “People don’t see the whole picture. They pick out some things and make your image. You can try and try to make them happy but you will end up being sad. People will talk. Once you stop worrying what the world will think of you, your life will be that much easier to live.”
I think you’ve forgotten, mumma. That’s why you’re sad. People don’t know the whole you. Then how come their opinions matter? At every small setback I have, they may come and blame you for it but to me their words don’t matter and they shouldn’t matter to you too. For, everyone has seen the film, they haven’t seen the struggle.
How much you have taught me by being at the office is unbelievable. I could comb my hair on my own by the age of four. I was never afraid to go in the dark room. I packed my own books. I studied by myself. I picked out my own clothes. I could go to camps and enjoy rather than sulking on being away from you. When most of my friends didn’t know how to turn the knob of the stove, I could make a meal on my own. Although it didn’t taste as good as yours, it was edible.
You have given me the gift of independence, mumma and I love you for that. You have made me strong. Growing up, I have looked at you and learnt more than any school could ever teach. You have given direction to my life. You have showed me that to achieve what you want; you have to give it all you have. I am not afraid of risks because they are just stepping stones. I am not afraid to fail because I know you are always there to catch me. You have mad me a fierce, young woman who knows what she wants and is ready to work for it. And I love you for that.
I love you mumma and I always will. For everything you’ve done for me and for everything you’ve wanted me to do on my own.
Kanal Trivedi wins a Rs 250 Flipkart voucher, as well as a chance to be picked one among the 10 top winners at the end of 2016. Congratulations!
Image source: mother and teen daughter by Shutterstock.
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If you want to get back to work after a break, here’s the ultimate guide to return to work programs in India from tech, finance or health sectors - for women just like you!
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Me: (in my Mind) Why should I?
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I believe that anything that is forced is not right. I must have a choice. I am a living human, not a puppet. And I am not stopping anyone by not following any tradition. You are free to do whatever you like to do. But do not force others. It’s depressing.