What My Daughter Sees When She Sees Just A Mom

Posted: April 30, 2016

Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and it made us think of what our mothers mean to us, and what we as mothers mean to our children.

Though nothing can really be good enough when we want to show our mothers our heartfelt appreciation, it does help to buy them a gift to mark an occasion like Mother’s Day. A great choice can be Mother’s Day Gifts from Ferns N Petals.

So – about my experience as a mother. Here goes.

The day that little fragile wailing-its-heart-out 7 pound miniature human was handed to my arms, I became an ever worrying guilt-laden-at-the-drop-of-hat mother. All my plans to return to work fizzled out. Motherhood claimed me entirely. I could not imagine leaving my bundle of joy at mercy of the domestic help. And I became a homemaker…

The first few years, till my daughter began her school, were spent in absolute happiness. I was happy that I had time to see her grow, to play with her and teach her simple things before she started school. My child was social, compassionate at that tender age, a no-fuss toddler and was appreciated by friends and family.

Soon pre-primary school started and she became a favourite among teachers as well. Her social circle increased as did the playtime at park. Gradually as her school hours became lengthier, the absence of meaningful activity besides daily house work started gnawing at me.

Six years away from work had pushed me back in my field. I resigned to the fact that I was not fit for the corporate world anymore. I started considering myself just another homemaker….just a wife…just a mother!

With growing discontentment at doing just housework every day, I tried my hand at various activities like making handcrafted candles, and putting up exhibitions, baking and making chocolates for friends and family. Friends appreciated my cooking, yet my discontentment did not wane…I was stuck with this feeling of being just another homemaker and mother. Never, even in my dreams, did I consider myself popular or someone worth emulating.

Isn’t that what most of us do, especially the home-maker moms? We ourselves make light of the amount of work and hours we put in to make a house into home. We ourselves do not credit ourselves for being there when the child returns from school hungry and tired. We ourselves do not give importance to our contribution in the upbringing of a child, in keeping them safe and teaching them right values.

But do our children in all their innocence ever see us as less than any diva? I was pleasantly surprised when my child said something that made me feel on the top of the world.

One of our friends was moving to Shillong for good. I packed a homemade chocolate cake and a few chocolates for his journey. Fast forward four years, we went for a holiday to Shillong and met our friend at his place for dinner. A few more common friends joined in for the get-together. Everybody demanded I bake a cake and dessert for the evening. Friends praised and gushed about my skills to those who were meeting me for the first time.

While I did not find anything extraordinary in the whole conversation, my then ten year old daughter was really impressed with everyone clamouring for the food I had cooked. She crept up quietly to me in the kitchen and hugged me tight. She whispered in my ear –“Mumma, you are so popular….I want to be just like you….”

It was at that moment that I felt proud of myself for the first time. I had not realised for so many years that by providing healthy and tasteful food to my family I was contributing towards their mental satisfaction besides satiating their appetite.

A teenager now, my daughter still insists that I cater for her birthday celebrations when her friends come over! She says she wants to brag that all food is made by her mother. She doesn’t see me as one who is unknown to the world – she sees me as me – her ‘world’s best mom ever’.

Mothers are the best things that can happen to anyone. I remember how my mother, despite a demanding job as a doctor, always found time to help me with my school-work, to cook our favourite dinner or to play board games with us. And yet at times I rebelled, answered her back and turned a deaf ear. She never stopped loving me though. When my daughter was born, my mother was the one who spent hours in caring for her routine as I lay in hospital. She still is available readily for any advice I may need. And even today she does not expect anything for herself!

We, however, are hardest on ourselves, feeling guilty all the time for something or the other, worrying too much and denying ourselves some ‘me’ time. The homemaker mommies, in absence of outside validation of their efforts, often overlook their own worthiness.

But look through the lens of a child and we will find ourselves sitting on the pedestal that our children have put us on. They look up to us to show them the difference between right and wrong, to assure them that all will be well, that we would be there to hold them if they ever fail and fall. They feel carefree when we are around. They fall into a peaceful slumber knowing their mother’s lap is there to give them the required comfort.

A quote I read says, “Motherhood is a choice you make every day to put someone else’s happiness and wellbeing ahead of your own, to teach hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong”

Yes, we chose to be mothers and very good ones at that – let us not berate ourselves so much for a few mistakes in this journey of motherhood. After all a mother is born on the same day as the child. Let us take time to appreciate our own worth and of those mothers who gave us life. Let us celebrate motherhood.

As I applaud and pat my own back, I realise that I haven’t lately thanked my mother for being there for me always. And, sitting some thousands of miles away, I haven’t really been there for her as she ages. The least I can do is send her a personalised gift along with the bouquet of her favourite flowers to let her know that she is appreciated, loved and remembered.

Ferns N Petals, the leading online florists might help me achieve just that with their quick and assured home delivery because they understand this beautiful relationship.

Yes, this Mother’s Day, which falls on the 8th of May, would be special for me as well as my mother.

Image source: gifts image by Shutterstock.

Supported by Ferns N Petals

I graduated as an architect and after working for three years decided to be a

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Comments

2 Comments


  1. Such a beautifully written post. I can identify with it very well both as a daughter and mother. Although doing something for mothers on mothers day is awesome and will make her feel extra special, I also think that telling them that you remember and recall their strength and sacrifices and are trying to emulate them in both, would be a fitting tribute too. Often I feel the business of giving material gifts is simply tempting us to do what is easy rather than forcing us to do what is more difficult. (for example, by acknowledging directly to the person the realities of his/her worth and committing to being there in the same way for them as they were there for us) Material giving should be first preceded or at least accompanied by true effort on the giver’s part to acknowledge and express gratitude in words and deeds when a loved one is in a similar need.

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