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What are the values that we would like our children to imbibe? Here is an open letter to their children by a parent, talking about just such values.
Dear Pauho, Tody, Lino and Liz,
When you receive this letter, understand that it means you have crossed one important and fun phase of your life. You are now almost young adults. And remember to live and not just exist!
Passion is not necessarily when you do it yourself, it is something which drives you to enjoy every thing in life, things that give the simplest and the purest of joys.
There is a book, a canvas, a swimsuit and a violin for each one of you to explore and pursue. I can write and I can dive, and my sister can paint and someone close to my heart, my uncle plays the violin. I thought it would be easier if my children knew these simple pleasures of life for I have enjoyed every bit of them either doing them personally or taking pleasure in the things already done by others.
Having said this about passion and pursuit, there are a few things I would like to share with you guys.
Never ever let anyone tell any of you these things, “boys will be boys”, “don’t cry like a girl”, “things are fine with boys but we need to really be careful with girls” and anything that remotely relates to it.
Both you boys and girls, remember, if you have to say something, do not feel shy to express it, be it happiness or sadness. Remember, sharing is an important skill in life. But please do build up the discretion as to who you can share things with.
When you cry, you are emotionally expressing yourself just the way you do when you laugh. It is not attributed to one gender. Boys and girls can cry, else only girls would have the tear glands. And for people who think otherwise, you can suggest a good basic biology textbook.
Boys and girls, while there are nice people in the world, there are neutral people and also not so nice people who might want to take advantage of any part of you, physical, sexual, emotional and mental. Beware and prepare yourself at every stage in your life. Talk to those who can give you good sound advice. And remember, asking for help never makes you a smaller or weaker person, it will only stress on the fact that you are confident enough to open up and stand up to what you believe is not in the right direction.
The difference between a boy and a girl is merely biological, over years society has made it a very vulgar misappropriation of bodies and psyches. I do not want any of you to be victims of the same. Behave as humans first, everything else will fall into place.
Girls, you will not be princesses in your life stories, nor will you wait for your knights in shining armor. Instead you will carve for yourselves, a future based on sound knowledge and a dagger for your own safety from predators. Predators who will try to influence you mentally or those who try to assault you physically.
Boys, you are in no way responsible for your sisters’ well being. Take care of yourselves and treat all women with the same respect that you expect to be treated. Women can open their own doors and pull their own chairs. Do not be chivalrous ever. It will only reinforce the patriarchal norms.
Boys and girls, all of you should play with a kitchen set as well as football. You all need to be self dependent in every way possible.
You should be able to handle things in any scenario. Respect people for who they are. Age, weight, height, sex, color, caste, creed are but statistical details. When you learn to respect everyone for being themselves, you will realize the fact that everyone is a soul wandering for love. You will automatically stop judging.
And most of all believe in yourself. Any sickness is a phenomenon because it is not happening to you alone, there might be at least one more person out there suffering from the same. It ceases to be an experience then. It is a phenomenon. Accept it and work your way around it. I am sure some brains out there will come up with a solution for it.
Love has no age, sex, color, caste or religion. It can happen between two people or many people at the same time. It is for you realize it yourself and make your life filled with love.
And even if you have some amount of hatred, learn to work a way around it. The same rule applies to all emotions. We are all after all humans.
With this, I wish you joy and happiness in all that you ever wish to find from your life on earth.
The rest is for you to discover, I have put forward only those that I deem close to heart.
Your loving parent!
Image source: hands of woman writing a letter by Shutterstock.
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