Anupama writes a letter to her 18-years old daughter. Read what she has to say.
In her fifth letter, a mother writes about the lessons she has learnt in her journey of life. A letter for all daughters!
Its 2:02 am, as I am writing this to you. (By no means am I promoting late nights. Just that I over slept during the day, and hence I can’t sleep now!) Darling, I was telling you in my last letter that I have to shift to a new place. I had a notice period of two months. So, I will be leaving this place in another fifteen days.
I have lived in this room, in this place for almost 3 years. I wonder what gift it is that I carry from here. I think Beta, I have finally found my life’s purpose. I always knew that this was what I had to do, but now I am clear. I think somewhere I found myself as a whole, not as the fragmented self that I came here as. May be in my own space of history, I can call it my Renaissance. From, now it’s going to be choices, not mere acceptance.
I began writing my first letter to you at this place and here I am now, writing my fifth to you, the last from this place, but many more from all the places that will host me. But this place will always be special – here I found myself. So here are again a few lessons, life brushed through and ones I am trying to learn!
This is one of the biggest life lessons I learnt. It took me years to really get it. Whatever you want in life, (it can be anything) begin where you are, in your own way. If you want to travel the world and have no means at the present, start by going to the nearest place you can, even if it means walking to the next street. Go where you can and do what you can. I have learnt that the beginning is a promise to a journey. How that journey will manifest, no one knows. But it does, in its own way.
Every beginning is like a sperm cell that finally becomes a human being. Even God creates human life as a tiny sperm, and we are created in his image. So, darling, begin where you are, start with whatever you got. Don’t judge the size of your audience, look at your intention and give it your best. This has always worked for me. Always!
Darling, this is something you must know – you can always begin anything. It can be a relationship, a job or a life if it needs to be mended over. It’s okay to be afraid, but it’s not okay not to begin. There might be times in life (life is unpredictable), you might lose certain things. It can be wealth or health. It might hurt you. It’s okay to cry, to feel dejected and frustrated. But darling, after crying for sometime, know that you’ve got to be your own savior.
Begin life again. If you need more money, look around as to what is it that you can offer, and when you look around, you will find. Don’t mind if you think the job is high or low; have that dignity of labour, work hard at your job and know, “This too shall pass.” Even if some people might smirk at you, let them be, because they are not living your reality. You got to pay your bills, for which you are working and it is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a principle in my life – if I need more money I take up jobs which might not meet up to other’s standards. But darling, no one else is paying my bills. I have lived with the dignity of work rather than on others’ hard work for which I respect myself tremendously.
Darling, when things are not working out or you are in pain, there is mostly an underlying truth which we are refusing to accept. Darling, there is something about the truth, it will grow louder and louder until we face it. The truth first shows up as a whisper, but if you ignore it, it comes as a sharp voice and even then, if you still ignore it, it will come to you as thunder.
Everything is a lesson Beta. This I have learnt after a lot of heartaches. If you look closely nothing happens at random, things comes in a pattern. And every pattern is a lesson. If you are always living in lack or just living from pay cheque to pay cheque, if all your relationships end in bitterness (romantic or otherwise), take a pause and look deeper. For anything to appear in your life repeatedly, there has to be a deep need within you. Everything that is there in your life is satiating something. When you understand that and let go off that need, the patterns change. Your lesson is complete. The past won’t repeat itself again and again.
So, darling, I understand that it is human nature to point our fingers at someone else (I do it too), but once the heat is over, sit with yourself and tell yourself the truth. For anything to happen, you contribute to it too. So, ask yourself, how do you contribute to the situation? Look within always. And know what, that’s where you will find the answer. No one knows the answer better than you. Trust me on that!
Doing the right thing at the right time seems like a task. But you can always do it. No one needs to tell you. You always know enough for the moment and it’s safe to trust yourself. You may never know it all, but for that day, for that time, for that situation, you know enough. Doing the right thing might not bring you applause or anything else, still go ahead and do it. The clue to doing the right thing is that you will be at peace. Doing the right thing might be at times, helping the ones who have ripped you apart. But if your heart says it’s the right thing and that thought brings you peace, by all means go and do it. That’s what builds character. Have a great one. It is going to take you to places.
We are not here forever. Though, at times we act as though we are. No, we are not. All our lives, we take from the society, family and the world. The idea is not to only enjoy what the world has left for you, or curse it. But to leave something to the world. Leave your legacy. Legacy seems like a big word, which someone like Oprah Winfrey or Maya Angelou can leave behind. No. We all can. We all have one gift. It can be being a great cook, or being a great gardener. You need not even be famous for it. But your gift is always present. How does one find one gifts? Find out what brings you completely alive; that my friend is your gift.
You can leave a beautiful garden in this world or healthy children. You might be the most helpful person in your neighbourhood or the one who counsels well. Do that. Your little part in the Universe is a part of the perfect plan and without that part the Universe or you cannot be whole. Go out to do what makes you feel alive and let that be your legacy. The world needs it. Let no one ever tell you, you are nothing. You are a part of a perfect plan and here to play a beautiful part. And I am sure, you will play it well.
It’s almost 8 pm, Sunday, as I finish this letter. My life is turning into another phase too; I hope it will carry with it blessings, like always.
I will write to you soon when I will have another story, another experience and another conversation.
Love you to the moon and back.
Mother daughter on the beach image via Shutterstock
Proud Indian. Senior Writer at Women's Web. Columnist. Book Reviewer. Street Theatre - Aatish. Dreamer.
Letter To My Beloved Daughter (Part 4)
Open Letter To Society From A Mother Of Two Daughters: I’m No ‘Bechaari’
This Novel Initiative By Paromita Bardoloi Lets Strangers Write Letters To Each Other
I Indulge In My Long Standing Love Affair With The Pen When I Write Notes To My Husband
Get our weekly mailer and never miss out on the best reads by and about women!